2012 - I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs, the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.

2017 - I'm preop for the Duodenal Switch procedure for my sleeve to help me get to goal weight....and to fix another hiatal hernia.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Trigger Behaviors - Hoarding & Guarding

I have this thing...

This thing that I feel where there is highly desirable food around me. 

This picture pretty much sums it up.


The boss has put out a box of very nice chocolates on a table out in front of my desk area. 

People are coming out of the woodwork for free chocolate and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM wants to mention it to me.
  • Oh - chocolates, yes please!
  • Back again for a couple more!
  • Just one more!
  • Oh these should do me!
  • I love chocolates!
  • Ohh See's - these are the best!
I've already had 4. I didn't even need one.  But for each person that comes over I have this overwhelming anger over them eating this candy.

Like - Its MINE and I don't want YOU to have any. I feel the urge to go over there and eat as much of it as possible.

I know that this is a problem, I don't need chocolates. I had some - they were nice - they were allowable in my calories today.

So I thought that instead of getting up and eating more chocolates - I would write this post and  breathe deeply.

Its candy. 
I don't have to guard it.
I can have more whenever I want. I can enjoy some chocolate, but don't need it all the time.  
Everyone is welcome to have it.
Its better them than me.


  1. Okay, I *realize* this post is NOT supposed to make me LOL, but I'm sitting here and just laughing!!! Why? Because I can TOTALLY 100% RELATE to what you are saying. OMG, it's sad but true because I feel the same way about food. Honestly I think everyone does to some degree. Maybe not as bad, but you put out a plate of broccoli next to a plate of cookies and I'm just going to throw out a crazy wild guess that at the end of the day the broccoli would STILL F'ING be sitting there. And if it WAS a plate of broccoli sitting there instead of the chocolates, you can bet people wouldn't make a big ole fuss out of eating it. Well, maybe just the health nuts who like to be show offs that they are INDULGING in raw broccoli. ;)

  2. It was kinda a LOLZ. I enjoyed finding the picture! Haha!!
    You are right, if it was a veggie tray no one would be fussing over it, including me.
    I finally had to just close up the box and put it on another desk. Sheesh!!!

  3. That picture and comparison was perfect! :)

  4. It would drive me insane too if everyone had to comment on it as they took the chocolate, whether I was "guarding" it or not. But I probably would be! I have been known to dive headfirst into those things if I think no one else is around. Moving it away from you was a good strategy.