2012 - I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs, the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.

2017 - I'm preop for the Duodenal Switch procedure for my sleeve to help me get to goal weight....and to fix another hiatal hernia.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Nov update

Back on the up down. But I'm going to remIn happy that I'm still in the zone. I wanted to be in the 229 range for New Years. So time to start working at my tracking of food again. 

Free feeding is keeping me here. 

Saturday, November 15, 2014


This is a poor cousin to my usual post, but the rigors of regular life are heavy right now and blogging is taking a beating. 

I've had a lot of time in the 230's (9 months?!), but I've been back on track and happy to see 235 again. 

Things I'm doing right:
Less snacking
More protein
Working out regularly (weights)
Bringing my lunch
Eating more at home
Not stuffing myself when we eat out

Thing I'm not getting right:
Drinking enough water
Getting enough sleep
Doing any cardio
Too much sugar

I'm deeply Unhappy, but I'm solving that
Went back to school for a certification class and am in the middle of that.
Interviewed a lot over the last few months, but in the end I turned down a number of lateral move positions
Had an internal move interview last week that is promising
Potentially going back to finish my BA

So all in all, I'm making life and weight progress. And that's what it's about. 

Friday, November 14, 2014

Battery died

Welp, the daily weigh ins (that I haven't been posting....lazy, sorry) finally killed the scales battery.

So I couldn't weigh in this morning!! 

Oct 15, 2012 to Nov 14, 2014.

2 years and a month, not too shabby. 

Replaced it today and the weigh ins continue tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Water, Workout, Weigh In

Getting more water in me this month is the name of the game.

Slightly more successful yesterday.

Weights last night, benchpress volume night, hanging knee raises, and then hanging ring rows.

Weigh in ths morning, 235.8.

Getting there.

Monday, September 15, 2014

August 2014 Monthly Recap

August Monthly Recap.

Weight gain: +1.2lbs
Total Loss: 62.8lbs


31-Jul    237
1-Aug    238.8
2-Aug    238.2
3-Aug    237.6
4-Aug    236.8
11-Aug  236.2
12-Aug  237
13-Aug  237.6
14-Aug  237.4
15-Aug  237.6
16-Aug  238.2
17-Aug  237.2
18-Aug  237.4
19-Aug  237.2
20-Aug  238.6
21-Aug  238
22-Aug  239
23-Aug  238
24-Aug  237.6
25-Aug  238.2
26-Aug  237.6
27-Aug  238.2
28-Aug  237.6
29-Aug  239.2
30-Aug  238.6
31-Aug  238.2

August has been a month of wallowing. More woes about work, more crap where I don’t eat right and don’t drink enough water.  I did stick to my weight lifting, however, I had a week gap in early August for a work event and I had to be out of town running that for 5 days. 

However, this month is done, and I’ve been trying to learn lessons.  Trying to get back on track, but I know that this is not a simple switch for me. 

The base issue is that I’m unhappy, and 39 years of life experience with unhappiness was food.  So, I’m trying, but I’m failing more than succeeding in dealing with the sads with something other than food.

The positive:
Started lunch packing again
Sunday cooking
Less junk in the house
Tracking on MFP my food a couple times a week
Still weighing in daily
4x a week at the gym
Still turning to food
Still snacking too much
Not enough water

July 2014 Monthly Recap

July Monthly Recap:

Weight loss: 1.6lbs
Total Loss: 64lbs

28-Jun   238.6
9-Jul       237.6
10-Jul    237.2
11-Jul    235
12-Jul    234
13-Jul    235.4
14-Jul    234.4
15-Jul    234.8
16-Jul    235.8
17-Jul    235.8
18-Jul    238.2
19-Jul    238.2
20-Jul    238.2
21-Jul    236.4
22-Jul    235.8
23-Jul    235.8
24-Jul    235.4
25-Jul    236.4
26-Jul    236.6
27-Jul    236.6
28-Jul    234.8
29-Jul    235.8
30-Jul    236.6
31-Jul    237
July was an interesting month:  I turned 40 in July.  I was hoping that it wasn’t going to affect me, and that I was mature enough to handle it, but I didn’t like it at all.

We also had a lot of changes at work, 10% layoffs, the main VP I worked for was transferred back to Canada, and the new VP is a dickbag. Of course, I have HR functions so was on the inside of knowing about said layoffs and who it was going to happen to, and that is just not a nice feeling. 

I’m unhappy with work, with being 40, with my efforts at my weight management, with a lot of things.  The vacation was great, but I came back to a sh*tstorm and to be honest… this is all affecting me a lot more personally than I ever expected.  I ended up working weekends and really not enjoying my life at all.  Pretty much eradicated the joy of having been on vacation.  Which has left me a little resentful. 

The positive:
I started back lifting weights and I’ve stuck with it.  4 days a week for all of July, through now (middle of Sept).  So that is the one positive light.   
The negative:
I am eating too much
I am not drinking enough water
I am wallowing in problems instead of looking for solutions. 
Times much change… however that didn’t happen in August. Things got worse-ish… but we are getting there. 

June 2014 Monthly Recap

June Monthly Recap.

Weight Gain: +2.2lbs
Total Loss: 62.4lbs

31-May 236.4
1-Jun     234.6
2-Jun     235.2
3-Jun     234.6
4-Jun     234.2
5-Jun     234.2
6-Jun     235.4
7-Jun     235.4
8-Jun     235
9-Jun     236.8
10-Jun   238.2
11-Jun   237.6
12-Jun   237.6
13-Jun   236.8
16-Jun   236.8
17-Jun   235.2
18-Jun   234.4
19-Jun   234.2
20-Jun   234.6
21-Jun   235.4
22-Jun   234.8
23-Jun   234.4
24-Jun   236.6
25-Jun   236.6
26-Jun   237
27-Jun   238.6
28-Jun   238.6
I’m still learning, it’s been 1 year and 8 months since surgery (in june), and I have had what I would consider really good success, BUT... yes there is that giant but in here... 
  • Have I plateaued… yes.
  • Am I working hard at this… not in the slightest. 
  • Should I be?? 
  • Damn it, yes I should… but I don’t know how to do more at the moment.
I had started back at weight lifting post-surgery for my gall bladder removal, and then promptly hurt myself quite badly by Deadlifting too much weight too soon... bad bad lower back strain that kept me off my feet for 3 days and limping around for 3 weeks. 

I actually thought that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy my vacation planned at the end of the month.  I ended up managing okay, but certainly didn’t get to do all the hiking and moving around that I wanted, and had to be quite careful about my back.

However, I’m here still, and I'm about to catch up on the last three months of blogging, and the theme is Struggle. 

I’ve been struggling with work, with turning 40, with being happy, with not using food for comfort, with not knowing how to manage my emotions and how not to hate myself so much, with trying to stay hydrated. 

It’s been tough.  I should have blogged more.  I should have written my feelings down.  “Shoulds” aren’t going to help me though. However, the one thing I did… was I DID NOT STOP WEIGHING IN.  

Thankfully for the MFP app, I still jumped on the scale almost every day and weighed in. It was not fun, it was not nice, it was however, totally necessary and I’m still here trying to take care of business.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Making time

Jeez I've been flat out for the last month plus since getting home from vacation. But I will. Eventually!!! :) 

Managing an offsite event this week coming, then spending the weekend in Chicago with a girlfriend that I've not sen in over a year. 

Also, I turned 40 last week. 

Phew, it's been a busy couple of months. 

Weight loss.... Waffling about in in the middle 230's, not getting enough water.

That is all for now!! 

Monday, June 23, 2014


Obligatory posting, as I am not feeling it. 

Hovering in the 234's still.  STILL. 


Saturday before last I hurt my lower back lifting weights. Too heavy too soon. So I've been resting, icing, & chiropractor visits.

However, I've been mostly worried that I had ruined myself for my upcoming holiday!!! This Saturday we leave for Iceland!!!!!! So very excited!! 

Lots of walking, site-seeing and relaxing. I can't wait! 

Photo from my last visit in 2012. 

Monday, June 9, 2014

This week....more water

Went to see movies this weekend and had popcorn twice. 

Even when its just a little bit, its still a SALT BOMB!!!!

Time to get back on the water!!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Baby Steps

Making a few better choices each day:

Bought a scone yesterday.  Ate a bite of it and didn't enjoy it. Actually spat it out. 

The rest of that damn thing was still on my desk this morning. Old food habits are hard to break. 

Scones = Love = Yummy...how could I NOT want it?????

I threw it out this morning. 

baby steps girl baby steps.

WI this morning: 234.2

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

H2O to the rescue

Once again - water habits pick up - weight drops off.

234.2 today.  

Monday, June 2, 2014

May 2104 Monthly Recap

May is done and in the books.  

It was a 0 sum month for me, which all in all is a success.  Lots of bouncing around and not following the rules:

Lots of carbs
Lots of Sugar
Not enough water
Not enough sleep

The numbers:

May 1- 236.4
May 2- 234
May 3 - 234.4
May 4- 234.4
May 5 - 236
May 6 - 236
May 7 - 237
May 8 - 236.8
May 10 - 235
May 11 - 235.2
May 12 - 234.8
May 13 - 235.2
May 14 - 234
May 15 - 233.4
May 16 - 233.8
May 17 - 233
May 18 - 234
May 19 - 234
May 21 - 236.2
May 25 - 235.5
May 26 - 236.6
May 27 - 237
May 28 - 236.6
May 29 - 235.8
May 30 - 237
May 31 - 236.4

June - Total Lost - 0lbs
Overall Lost  - 64.6lbs

This one hurts. I'm going to have to change my tracker from 67lost to 64 lost.  :(   Let that be a lesson to me!! 

I would say that June was full of compliance and excuses.  Once I started back on my water, I saw some change.  As well - I stated back to the gym again. Always a good thing. 

Despite this lull in progress, I'm quietly enthusiastic about June.   I have my 2 week trip to Iceland starting on the 28th.  This time I am at a weight were Iam allowed to ride the Icelandic horses!!!  So I'm super enthused about that.  As well as all the rest of the walking and hiking that we will be doing.  I can't wait.

June at work is going to suck. But... I've decided that no matter what. I'm getting my water in.  That is the MINIMUM that I will do for myself.

Another boring monthly update, but... it comes and goes in swings.  

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Rule Breaker!!

Still in the middle of the up-downs.  blah. 

have been lots of kinds of busy, but really - I'm not following the rules. 

not enough water
too much snacking
sugar first

I was good and packed lunches for this week.  Getting back on the water parade.  Month end is coming up FAST! 

Had a tough week physically with lots of travel, some hiking, and hotel beds (yuck...too soft), so did some remediation with chiro yesterday.

will save the rest for the month end report... not that there is much more!  ;)

Monday, May 19, 2014

Mid Month Check in!

posting has bee terrible this month... too busy....

"Up down - up down" is the story of this month.  I have another friend visiting, we have done a tonne of walking, biking and running around.  I even got my weights session in this weekend with her here. 

weight has been holding stead, but last night we went for bbq... I'm up 2.4lbs this morning. Ug.  Salt pinata!!!!   So, water, walking and moderation today. 

I have a lot of work to get done, took time off last week to catch up on, then wed night through sat morning I'll be in San Diego.  Which will be amazing, but also... more time to make up for.

Beggers can't be choosers- work is work.  They are paying, so I'm going.

Right.  Lunch is done. Time to get back at it!!

Friday, May 2, 2014

...then a miracle occurs...

Down 2.4lbs this morning...


One reason: Hydration.

Honestly...when will I learn?   :)

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

April 2014 Monthly Recap

Monthly Recap -  RAWR Edition

Pounds Gained this month – 2.4
Pounds lost overall – 64.6

Month by the numbers.

Mar 31 - 234
Apr 1 - 234
Apr 2 - 233
Apr 3 - 232.6
Apr 4 - 233.2
Apr 5 - 233.4
Apr 6 - 232.2
Apr 7 - 232.2
Apr 8 - 232.8
Apr 9 - 233.2
Apr 10 - 232.8
Apr 11 - 234.8
Apr 12 - 235.2
Apr 13 - 234
Apr 14 - 232.4
Apr 15 - 232.8
Apr 16 - 233.4
Apr 17 - 235.8
Apr 18 - 236
Apr 19 - 236
Apr 20 - 236.2
Apr 21 - 235
Apr 22 - 235.2
Apr 23 - 235.8
Apr 24 - 235.8
Apr 25 - 237.2
Apr 26 - 237.2
Apr 27 - 236.6
Apr 28 - 235.2
Apr 29 - 236.2
Apr 30 - 236.4
Well, I really let that one go at the end here.  There must be a correlation between me setting a goal and me FAILING in the complete opposite direction of said goal.  I literally gained for six straight days the day after I said I wanted to see 229 on the scale this month.  

Expecting things of myself is dangerous apparently.   Honestly, just wandering along being happy with what I’m doing is much better. 

Of course, I also let go the triad of evil:
1.       Stopped drinking enough water
2.       Stopped tracking my food
3.       Started eating out more

Accompanied with poor sleep, work stress, and a general lack of self-control and boom.  Back up in the mid/high 230’s. 
I also had a lot of poor self-talk – the old ugly “YOU DESERVE THESE TREATS” reared its head. Nothing good ever comes from that.
So, its back on the wagon.  I’ve not started tracking food yet, but I’m taking steps and gawds knows, if I set anything too high I’m just going to lay down and not get anywhere.  Step one has been – TAKE A DAMN LUNCH.  Which I’ve done, but I already had a snickers bar today.  *SIGH*  
Also – get on top of water.  I’ve had puffy swollen feet for half a month now.  It’s all because I’m down on my water and my body is suffering from it. 
Today’s REAL emergency was I took a shirt off the hanger to wear to work today... and put it back because it was slightly tight at the start of the month – I couldn’t even bear to try it on and see how my belly has filled in again.  Damn it – 2lbs does really make a difference.
Time to get back on track. 

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Me vs Me

This week has also taken a turn for the shitty eating. I just could not stop today. Arg. 


Why are these so hard for me.

I don't think I've felt hungry once this week.


Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Bah. Focusing on the negative lately and I want to post about the awesome yesterday.

I ordered three dresses from Ol' Navy, because online you can get them in Tall, which means that I can wear them to the office (i.e. length is appropriate!). That extra 1.5 inches makes a difference!!

I got three, all XL Tall (and they were on sale!!!  $12 each!!!).

I pulled them out and looking at them - I just still get that feeling - that I am going to have to SQUEEEEZE into these and its going to be uncomfortable and yuck.

I pulled the first one over my head and it basically dropped onto me perfectly. Happened with all three.  One was even ... LOOSE!


I danced around the living room in my new dresses and reveled in the good feeling.

Happy day!

Water... Take 259

I beat the cake craving yesterday...but I didn't watch my water intake.

So thirsty this morning. 

Scale is up a little as well.  233.4

Water bottle is filled up. 

Back on the "water" horse again.

For the billiontyith time.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Fighting the good fight

I'm really fighting the urge for junk today....

do I want CAKE  or do I want to see 229 on the scale.

Thus far, scale is winning. 

Although I'm going to cave and have a slow sip on some diet coke soon to keep me occupied until its time to go home.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Old Patterns

I had a bad week at the office last week.  My "give a damn" was broken and my capacity for stupid questions was backed up. 

So what did I do....

Mostly.... I turned to food.

This is an old old pattern that is really really difficult to break. I did it with full awareness, which doesn' make it better.  But I knew that I was eating to feel good, and sadly, I have to report that there was a part of me that did feel good about it on Friday night - post Chinese food horribleness.

I justify it with, a binge on bad food now is a joke by comparison, which it is. However it the behavior that is damaging, not the amout of food - since its such a small fraction of what I would have done before.  But I want to acknowledge that this is STILL BAD BEHAVIOR.

AND, even though it is a "small amount" of food - I was punished with a 2.4lbs gain over the weekend. That was... scary.  I'm amazed at what salt can do to the body.  Regardless, I snapped out of it with my Sat and Sun morning weigh ins. I hit the water, and am back on track.

Saturday and Sunday I did NOT want to weigh in - those are the days I make myself do it, since I know those are the days I need it the most.  Which I did.

I've been stalling on getting back into my lifting (something that I could have done instead of eating), so I'm going to get back on that this week and start with some light biking and body weight squats.  Next week I'll hit the gym again - lightly, as my abdominal wall still has some tender spots, but that scar tissue just has to be worked through.

Anyway - todays food is all planned out in MFP already.   I find it so much easier when I don't have to make decisions.  What I can eat is in there - no substitutions, no deviation.  Easy.

I think that April is the month to break out of the 230's and touch 229 at least once.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Tasty Tasty Salt

had a number of salt bombs yesterday.

All delicious, but man... the scale was up almost 2 lbs this morning!

Woof... that's a big old jump.  

Water water water.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Mental Break!

I ended up taking yesterday afternoon OFF.   what a glorious afternoon.

Did some shopping, got a few groceries, and then sat in silence with the dog doing some sewing in the sunshine.   

Feeling much more positive.

Ate like sh*t yesterday.  Cake at lunch, dessert after dinner, but managed to stay under calories and get in more water.

I'm looking forward to the weekend.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


***Whining Ahead***

Eggs & bacon for breakfast. I wanted something warm, fatty and protein rich today.  Needed to change up something to kick start this day off right.

I'm going to kick this water thing in the arse today. Water is going to be had. My goal today is to pee at least 6x before I'm done in the office today.

I'm in a bad spot - just part of the grind of life.  Job it annoying,  Not sleeping well enough.  Put all my winter clothes away... and they were all comfortable.   All the summer clothes I  have bought are tight, and I could stand to lose another 5lbs before they will look good.  I'm still on the edge of sick.  Sweaty again last night.  Sneezing, snuffly.  Arg.

I KNOW that I did that to myself... but its not making today's 15 outfit change-fest anymore better.   Wearing the last of the winter tops, summer bottoms and its 40 out there.. and going to be 80 by this afternoon.

I know its going to be a few days before this funk is worn off. 

I hate this weather.
I hate water.
I hate pants.
I hate people.

I do love coffee still.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Could I drink less water?

Not Likely.

Why on earth do I do this to myself.


I just don't know today what I'm feeling today.


Last night I just wanted to eat and eat and eat.

This morning I want to eat and eat and eat. 

I'm going to get a coffee and try to think about something else for a while.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Planning Fail

Enjoyed a mostly lazy weekend - which was nice.  

Slept in, saw a movie, shaved the dog, did some light cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, wandered around in some resale shops. 

But this morning was a sh*tshow as I forgot to make my packed lunches last night.

Game of Thrones Season 4 opener.   I blame you. But also love you, so I guess its a wash.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Adjustments - MFP & My Brain

So the My Fitness Pal ap has finally updated and now you can pick your macros ( % of carbs, fats & protein you eat).

So I adjusted my macros to a more protein oriented mix and lowered my calorie intake from 1,770 to 1,700.   Not a lot, but I like to make small changes that I hardly notice, or else I tend to freak out.

Here are my numbers from yesterday - I'm still high on carbs, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it - I have rice crackers, hummus, and carrots in my diet - high in carbs, but also fiber.  Its going to be a balancing act.

As long as I'm getting close to my Protein goals for the day I'm happy!!  I used to be at 100g/ protein a day.  170 is going to be hard to hit, but anything over 100 is good to me.

Another new rule I'm trying to institute is that I don't eat after 8pm. I am in bed before 10 most nights, so I really DO NOT need to be snacking after 8pm - even if there are calories yet to be had for the day.

I've been good with my tracking - this is key for me.  I really cannot be left to graze yet.  I have auto-pilot for food and still try to overeat - even when I'm uncomfortably full.  Had to spit out a mouthful of dinner last night. 

I think that there are some people out there that have been more successful in changing their habits in the first year (bloggers that inspire me!), and I do think that I've done a lot and have made changes that are incredible.  But I know that I have more to go.  I think in another year I'll have the eating thing down much better. I do think that I'll always have to weigh in every day.  "When I stop looking, the fat wins". 

Anyway, I'm thankful to have these tools to help me - sleeve, tracking ap, scale.  They are what is keeping me from giving up!!  :)  I still have a "failure mentality", that has been in my brain for almost all my life. So I keep reminding myself that change takes time.  I was selfconscious of my body size at the age of 5, that kind of pressure is not going to be repaired overnight.

Today, I'm wearing a cardigan... size L.  I'll take these little moments when they come. 

Monday, March 31, 2014

March Monthly Recap 2014

March is done... hard to believe!

This has been an amazing month for me for success, however this morning’s weigh in was slightly up. HOWEVER, I'm going to NOT let it bother me, as I didn't sleep well last night, had a late dinner, and get my morning constitutional in before weigh in.

In March I had 6 "new lows" recorded!  I couldn't be happier that I ended the month on one of those too.  234 is the lowest month end recorded weigh-in thus far. 

Happy Dance.

Feb 28 - 236.8 (-65lbs)
Mar 1 - 237.6
Mar 3 - 236.4
Mar 4 - 237.2
Mar 5 - 238
Mar 6 - 237.4
Mar 7 - 236.2
Mar 8 - 236 *
Mar 9 - 234 *
Mar 10 - 233.2 *
Mar 11 - 234
Mar 12 - 232.8*
Mar 13 - 233
Mar 14 - 233
Mar 15 - 232.4 *
Mar 16 - 232.6
Mar 17 - 232.6
Mar 18 - 232 *
Mar 19 - 233.4
Mar 20 - 234
Mar 21 - 232.8
Mar 22 - 232.8
Mar 23 - 232.4
Mar 24 -232.8
Mar 25 - 233
Mar 26 - 233.4
Mar 27 - 233.2
Mar 28 - 233
Mar 29 - 232.2
Mar 30 - 232.6
Mar 31 - 234**new low month end weigh in

Total lbs lost in March: 2.8lbs
Total lbs lost overall: 67lbs



I’ve been sick, had gallbladder surgery, root canal, and have not done any working out - but I also spent almost all of March recording everything that I ate on the MFP ap, and thinking about getting in more and more water and eating a lot of protein.   
The ap has really made a difference in my awareness to what I’m eating.  I still have treats, I still splurge on things, but just less frequently… AND I’m aware of them so I don't just indulge indulge indulge - which has been a big issue for me.
The NSV's this month:
1. bought regular size 18 pants in a regular women's department!  Almost into the 16's.
2. Solid size 16 up top/XL regular and the occasional L
3. new bras - 38DD
4. Went to a clothing swap yesterday. Actually fit into a couple of things!!  It was pretty awesome.
Not a very long post this morning, as I have work to get to, but I certainly am excited about my progress and looking forward to continued success in April.

Friday, March 28, 2014


Bulletpoint Friday

  • period started
  • ate 2 cookies after lunch
  • and a bag of chips
  • logged it all
  • feel like shit

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Saddle Up!

Yesterday I had a great morning socially, but a horrible one eating wise. 

Poor food choices make for a long crappy day.  Note to self - remember that.

As a good part of my job is event planning - I get invited to some cool things as businesses romance us for our budget dollars.   Yesterday morning was invited to have Breakfast with the Sea Lions at the Houston Zoo.  Pretty awesome!!  

What wasn't awesome - is that I totally forgot about it until I was already at my desk, and I had not have my protien shake yet.   But I didn't want to be late, so I jumped up and rushed over to the zoo. 

So I missed my normal breakfast and all that was on offer was pastry and goodies. I know that most people want for these things.  So I had 3 strawberries, a croissant, and 2 cups of coffee with cream.  Not the stellar start to a morning.  So I fought cravings all day.   I ate a bag of chips, a girl scount cookie, a pack of plain m&m's... a diet dr. pepper.   

No WONDER I feel terrible this morning as well.   :(

I should have grabbed my drink and had it on the way in the car.  Next time... think ahead!

Todays mantra will be WATER!!!!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Science is interesting! Weight-Loss Surgery: It's Not Just About Stomach Size

Article linked HERE

Weight-Loss Surgery: It's Not Just About Stomach Size
Published: Mar 26, 2014  By Elizabeth DeVita Raeburn, Contributing Writer, MedPage Today

The study focused on the fact that "substantial changes in circulating total bile acids are known to occur after VSG," and the fact that these bile acids are known to regulate metabolism by binding to the nuclear FXR receptor (farnesoid-X receptor), said Randy J. Seeley, PhD, of the University of Cincinnati, and colleagues in Nature.

"We hypothesized that FXR-signaling links altered bile-acids homeostasis to important postoperative changes in metabolism and gut microbial communities, thereby contributing to the maintenance of weight loss and improvements in glucose control" following VSG, they said.

Bariatric surgery is often the most "effective and durable" therapy for obesity, the authors wrote, adding that 40% of obese type-2 diabetes mellitus patients who undergo bariatric surgery achieve full remission within a year.

The presumption has been that the weight loss is due to smaller stomach size imposed by the surgery, but a growing body of evidence suggests that changes in gut physiology after the surgery also exert an important effect, the authors said.

"As just one example, a substantial proportion of diabetic patients are able to stop taking their medications within days of surgery, before substantial weight loss has occurred," they wrote.
In a series of experiments, the researchers also performed VSG, in which approximately 80% of the stomach is removed, on mice with diet-induced obesity, some of which were knockout (KO) FXR mice.

In the first week, both wild-type (WT) and KO mice that had undergone VSG lost weight compared with sham-operated controls. But while the wild-type mice sustained the weight loss, the KO mice did not, the researchers said.

"Within 5 weeks, the body weight of KO-VSG animals was no longer different from that of sham-operated controls," they said.

Eleven weeks after the surgery, "WT-VSG animals had half the body fat of sham-operated WT controls, while the body fat of KO-VSG and KO-sham operated mice was equivalent," the researchers said.

Observation of feeding behavior after the surgery revealed that, while KO-VSG mice initially reduced food intake in the week after surgery, they soon increased it.

Four weeks after surgery, the KO-VSG mice consumed more food than sham operated controls "suggesting that FXR signaling is necessary for the repression of rebound hyperphagia following caloric restriction initially achieved by VSG," the authors said.

When the researchers challenged the glucose tolerance of the mice with an intraperitoneal injection of dextrose, they found that WT-VSG mice "exhibited a substantial improvement" in their ability to clear the glucose, while KO-VSG and sham-operated mice showed no differences in glucose tolerance.

Investigation of the mice's gut microbiota also revealed that VSG had a stronger effect on microbiota composition in WT mice than KO mice, the researchers said.

The relative abundance of Bacteroides, for instance, was substantially reduced in WT-VSG mice relative to WT-sham controls, but did not vary with surgery among KO mice.

A recent study of probiotic treatment of obese women found decreasing numbers of Bacteroides to be associated with less fat and better glucose control. That association was also evident in this study.
"Taken together, the present results demonstrate that a functional FXR pathway is necessary for sustained weight loss, suppression of rebound hyperphagia, and improved glucose control following VSG," the authors wrote.

The findings provide a new understanding of the mechanisms underlying the success of bariatric surgery and suggest new targets for less invasive therapeutic interventions, they said.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Planning Luches & stuffs

The Husband got called to the office last night for an hour (IT guys.. never stop working), so I had some evening time alone in the kitchen getting my prep-on for this week!

I do so much better when I know what I can eat, instead of trying to make decisions when I'm hungry, or h-angry, or bored...

So I tracked my day (todays) calories out on the MFP ap last night and prepped lunches for the week.

I love these ziplock lunch boxes! They do make my life so much easier.  I usually start eating lunch at 11:30 and finish the cheese stick and grapes (or celery) as a snack later on 1pm. 

This is one of my favorite lunch conbo's. Hummus, rice crackers, cucmber & carrots. Getting my veg & fiber in.

Weigh in this morning: 232.8   I'm really enjoying the low 230's.  Its still hard for me to believe it.  But I'm there!!

Dr's appointment today.  There is a small portion of my incision that has not healed from my gallbladder surgery. Yes... that is almost 4 weeks ago now.  So I'm not very pleased.  The dr. was on vacation last week, so I get it a good try with cleaning, washing, anti-bacterial stuff and band aids... but its still weepy. 

Ug.   So that will have to get corrected today.  I'm no bikini model, but I don't want a giant scar bubble... or to have an open wound for 4 weeks.  *grumble grumble*.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Friday, March 21, 2014

Water: Its Magic

okay... its not magic. 

I'll just put this out there - I NEVER want to go back and count the number of blog posts I have about getting in more water. 

Yesterday: 234
Today: 232.8
Difference: water

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Goal Today: Water

The house guest is clearing out today. THANK  THE GAWDS.  Trying to just think if it as a good karma bank and that I've topped it off.

I've not been sleeping well, and not getting enough water.

Getting on top of that today.


Yep... noticable difference today.  Lots more time headed to the ladies. Of course the floor above ours is out of service so all the women have been down here using the toilette. Standing room only on the day I need it more.


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

6 Milestones in March....already!

Weigh in this morning - 232.0.

This is the sixth time this month that I've had a new low!   


I had been totally stalled out since October of last year (1 year sleeved anniversary).  I had spent 3 months after that fighting against myself and not following the rules. Also thinking that the 240's was it and that I was at the limit of my surgery assistance.

As usual, he limiting factor in weight loss is me (and my brain).

January 1st, I downloaded the MFP ap and recommitted to tracking my food.  Every time I keep at tracking -  I get better at food portions and just being aware of my consumption.  The key factor.  Plus - MORE PROTEIN!!

Eat MOAR Steak!

So this month has been a real revelation for me.  I am currently at my college weight.  I'm on track to be in the 220's.  THE 220's.  That means... 210 is around the corner.  Which means... the 200's and 190's are totally achievable.

Maybe not in 2014, but I think that in another year I could be down to my 195lbs goal. Pretty incredible stuff.

Mid March - feeling good!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Headed in the Right Direction/More Complaining/Attitude Shift

I'm still headed in the right direction.

I've been feeling very stressed lately, at the office, as well as at home: 
  1. I have an infection in my tooth (that got a root canal) and its annoying and painful.
  2. My incision for my gallbladder has one spot that is not healing... this weekend it started pusing (sorry TMI) so, I'm worried about that and have to get a dr's appointment asap.
  3. We have had an overstaying house guest for the last 10 days, and its getting to me.
I think that the abov was the reasons for the pitty-party that I had on the weekend - and the boo-hooing over being in the low 230's and not "looking better in some crappy photo that I took.   FOR GAWDS SAKE THIS IS AMAZING!  

Anyway - I took the guest shopping yesterday and to the gun range after (lol texas at its finest), but the original itinerary was that she would be out of our house traveling for most of the trip and using it as mostly a way station.  She cancelled all those plans and has been lounging on our sofa eating us out of house and home and begging rides all over. 

I'm kind of sick of it. I didn't really expect to have to cook, clean and feed her for 12 days solid as well as work full time and be a chauffeur. This is YOUR vacation, not mine. Also - 45min hot showers and running the laundry every second day.  Yeah... this is not what I signed up for.

I'm such a creature of habit a well, so I just can't be comfortable.  She also won't shut up about how little I eat.  It's really grating on me.  

She was supposed to head out this morning and be gone until Wednesday, but told us that she changed her mind and will be back this evening.  REALLY. 

This is why I never stay with friends when I travel.  No matter what they say - I know that I will never slot smoothly into their schedule.  I always stay in hotels and I need a lot of quiet time to myself each day.

Rant over. I must sound horrible. She is leaving on Thursday so we only have a few more days of this.

NSV Alert!!

Shopping.  We went to Old Navy and I am now between a size 18 and 16 regular jean.  OMG!!  So excited!  Finally out of my fat pants.


Scale this morning - 232.6.   So pleased.   Going to have to work to put on a happy face today.  But it must be done.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Mental struggles

Today Was another new low. 


It's really quite exciting!! 

Of course today I've eaten: a scone, a sausage & cheese kolache,  two slices of pizza, and four shortbread cookies. On top of scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. 

I'm feeling terrible. Mentally. All this success and I still eat like shit. 

Baby steps. Baby steps. 

I took some pictures to see the progress. The last time I took pictures I was 236. Now I'm 232.4 and I think these pictures make me look heavier. 

Interesting choice of words I used there. "Make me look heavier". Technically I know I am lighter, my clothes fit better and I know I am smaller.  But the image on the camera is making me feel fatter.

Gawds. This weight thing is hard. 

Pic at 236.

Pic at 232.4

Friday, March 14, 2014

Holding Steady

Its been such a great 10 days that I've been starting to worry that its all going to be over.

I had myself convinced that I was going to be 240lbs when I got on the scale this morning...

crazy stuff.

I'm so glad that I make myself weigh in every morning. Its like aversion therapy for phobias.

Today: 233lbs

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Office Stress + NSV + New Low

The budget closed, I finished in time. Wok stress is reduced by half. 

I'm always WAY more stressed about it during...and then after I'm all... WTF was so hard.  Of course - this will be repeated next month.   Learning the new system was not easy, so I'm pleased with my efforts.

I'm just really pleased that I did not run to the vending machine for "relief".  That is a major NSV for me.  I also gave my husband the small bills out of my wallet.  There is nothing more tempting then having singles that I can just slot in there for some snacks.   Go me - preemptive snack stopping.

Weight in this morning... and astounding 232.8lbs.

Another new low.   I'm feeling like its the heady days of post-surgery.  But... the truth is that I'm simply doing things the way that I'm supposed to:

  • Tracking my intake
  • No extra mid meal snacking on an extra 500 of calories a day. 
  • Drinking more water
  • Eating LOTS of good proteins (dinner for sure, but trying to get them in all day)
  • Breakfast protein always
  • Haven't bought ice cream in ages
Its the little things things that are adding up.

Monday, March 10, 2014


This is budget week at work. Its due tomorrow evening at 6pm. We had a complete new SAP system implimented and this is our first crack at it... omg....

I am STRESSED...and I want to eat eat eat... but I've been doing so well, that I don't want to ruin it and I'm not eating.  

I feel weird. LOL

one more time....

I really REALLY did not expect this, this morning. 3 days in a row.  Three new lows.


Another .6lb down.

In college I was 232/230lbs.  This is unreal to me.  I'm so so so glad that I keep track. Made all the days wallowing around in the 240's worth it.


Its quite motivating.  I updated my ticket today to remind me... since its so awesome.!!!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Saturday, March 8, 2014




What have I been doing different....
1. Tracking my calories
2. Quit morning and afternoon snacking by half
3. More water
4. Lotsa eating in
5. Protein protein protein 

It's the simple things. 

Friday, March 7, 2014

New Low!

As I said to a friend yesterday, I've been spending more time under 240 then at it, and that is success for me.  The little ups and down are SO much easier to manage mentally when I track them and look at them everyday.

Otherwise, I would count these down days at flukes and the ups as permanent... you know.  Brain issues.

Anyway, today is another new milestone - which I wouldn't know about if I didn't keep such detailed notes!  :) go me!


Last night as I was getting undressed the husband said - you are getting so small.  funny that.  I didn't believe him. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Friday, February 28, 2014

February 2013 Monthly Recap

A solid month, feb is always an extra short one, but it always seems to go by slowly.

Jan 31 - 240.8
Feb 2 - 241.8
Feb 3 - 242.0
Feb 4 - 241.0
Feb 5 - 241.0
Feb 6 - 240.8
Feb 7 - 240.8
Feb 8 - 240.8
Feb 9 - 239.8
Feb 10  - 241
Feb 11 - 240.6
Feb 12 - 240.8
Feb 13 - 240.4
Feb 14 - 241.2
Feb 17 - 241.0
Feb 18 - 240.4
Feb 19 - 240.8
Feb 20 - 240.2
Feb 21 - 239.6
Feb 22 - 239.4
Feb 23 - 240.6
Feb 24 - 239.8
Feb 25 - 238.6
Feb 26 - 238.6
Feb 27 - 236.8
Feb 28 - 236.8

Total weight loss in feb: 4lbs
Total overall: 64.2

This is my lowest end of month weigh in ever! Win!! Pretty close to my lowest weight, so I'm really happy to be in this zone again. 

Feb 2014 Graph

Gallbladder Surgery on the 25th has given me a big downswing for the end of the month, but I'm hoping to keep it (or at least half of it) and continue to chip away at the fat. I'm excited to be able the eat more normally as well. 

Sadly I can't workout with weights for the next four weeks, but I'm going to focus on walking, biking and clean eating. Lots of water and the good stuff. 

I've been scarfing sugar and junk too much, so for march I want to focus on that and make sure I'm staying aware of what is going in. 

That's all for this months recap. Not a lot of details, but it is what it is. 

Thursday, February 27, 2014


Gallbladder removal went as well as possible. 

No complications and I'm home resting. Off the pain meds today - they make me feel worse - nausea and dizzy, but good for sleeping almost all day on Wednesday. 

I'm feeling a lot better today, able to keep some food down, easy foods - broth soups and crackers. Almost feels like my VSG all over again, but way less painful! 

I'm very pleased to have the offending organ out. And this is one of the nicest "vacations" I've had in a while. I feel no obligation to get up and do any cleaning, laundry, or anything. Rest, nap, HBO and recover. 


Monday, February 24, 2014

Power Lifting

I was going to call this "Public Adventures", but then I thought that it might give the wrong impression.   LOL

So this weekend past I attended and participated in a Power Lifting event.  I've been working out with a friend and he convinced me to compete.  Squats, bench press and Dead lifts.  You get three chances at each event, you have to follow the (I won't get into all the minutia) form and specifications for each move. But most importantly... you are REQUIRED to wear a form fitting singlet.

Like a wresting singlet.  Ladies can wear a t-shirt under. 

So... as a large, still have wight to lose woman - this was a very very difficult thing to mentally process.  I would be on display in front of MANY people showing my lumps.  But, I decided that I would do it  - paid the fees and committed myself.

I have to say, that I was probably the most judgey person there. No one else gave a sh*t...  was all "LOOKING" at people and comparing and thinking about what I look like compared to them.  OMG I'm dysfunctional.  People at these events only care about one thing... that you are there.  They admire STRONG, they don't see fat.  They see body mechanics. 

Despite the fear and stress about it... I think that power lifting is going to be great for me mentally.  Fat people there are worthy and strong. 

Anyway, I was the only woman in my category - open women unequipped. So I won my class (of 1). teehee!  but I'm hooked.

My hubby videoed my lifts an I have to say - that I didn't recognize myself. In fact he told me that a couple of times he was scanning the crowd and din't recognize me.  LOL!  Success!!

Tomorrow is my gallbladder surgery, so I'll be off all week suffering.   Weee.   1 month until I can work out again.  :)

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Pre-Op appointmnt

I've been working like crazy to pre for my week off next week.  I have an event that I have been planning for work, and I won't be there to run it - so its twice as uch organization!

I have to jet out for my pre op today at 9:30, and last night... part of a filing came out.


I turn 40 this year...feels like I'm falling apart.

Such is life.  I've DVR'ed a bunch of programs, and I'll have my laptop at home - so I'll likely check in a couple of times to make sure everything is going as planned.