2012 - I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs, the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.

2017 - I'm preop for the Duodenal Switch procedure for my sleeve to help me get to goal weight....and to fix another hiatal hernia.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Monday, September 7, 2015

August 2015 recap

2 week vacation done... Sick as a dog right now. Getting back to work.  

Saturday, August 8, 2015


I haven't seen 242 in about 4 months :)

Feeling: happy and determined.

Friday, August 7, 2015

July Recap 2015

Not much happened in July except more of the same bs. 
Me complaining about weight gain, job shit etc. 

Aug 1 I decided to get my poop in a scoop and stop effing about. 

Back on food diary
Protein is king
Carbs last
More water

In what has been on of the most stressful weeks of my life this last year... I managed to lose 5 lbs, write two finals, learn my new job and work full time on my old job, and manage the last week of work with the woman at work that has been basically bullying me. (She is a contractor that was terminated (not for the reason I wanted, but still a win)).

Anyway, stopping the self denial and crappy attitude has demo straightens that I'm NOT faulty. I an NOT broken
I CAN lose weight when I do the right stuff. 

Boom. Truth hurts. My attitude is the problem. 

Monday, July 20, 2015


Ug... Those famous words....

Wish in one hand, piss in the other. See which one fills up first. 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

I wish...

That I hated food and only ate because I needed to. 
That I didn't think about food all the time.
That there was something else in my life that made me feel as good as eating. 

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

June Recap 2015


Job bullshit came to a head this last week. 
My new boss was demoted, and I've been wondering what will happen to me. 
This morning I was offered a new position in another department, which I think will suit me a lot better. Phew!

Been trying to get more water in, middling success. 
Exercise is getting better, squats are going up in weight and I'm starting to feel strong again. 
Food.... Still snacking when I'm not hungry, but I'm slowly reigning it in. 

Wrote my midterms, passed. 
Just pounding away at my courses and pushing through. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Oh look

What two days of drinking water more frequently and eating slightly more responsibly can do. 

When will I learn to keep at this ALL the time? 

Feeling more positive. 

Monday, June 1, 2015

May Recap 2015

Argggggggg. 246.2

Man, I'm really sucking ballz at:

Water - less than 2L a day typically
Sleep - less than 6 hrs a night
Snacking - greater than 3 extra snacks a day 
Meals - greater amounts than I need to eat. 

Gawds. I keep saying the same thing. 
Do better
Do better
Do better

I keep not doing it. 
I'm in a funk. I hate my job. I can't sleep. I'm in school full time at night. I only want to eat carbs and cry all the time. 

Sunday, May 3, 2015

April Recap 2015

Ended the month at 243.4.

It's been a lot if the same- up downs for my weight. 

However, I've made some positive changes: 
- Bringing my lunches
- Snacking less
- More water
- No pop
- Still working out (yay!)

The bad stuff:
- Thinking that indeed "dessert"
- The stress levels are sky high
- I'm not enjoying my job at all
- I'm not sleeping well (stress)

Life marches onwards and the summer semester starts tomorrow so back full swing into studying and papers. 

Monday, April 27, 2015

Check in

I feel spread too thin... Ironically since I've been casually gaining weight for the last three months. 

I finished my first semester back in college in 18 yrs. waiting for my final grades to get entered. 

New job/promotion in feb is hard. Really hard. I feel like I suck at it and in not good and know nothing. I feel sick most days at work. 

It's not a good feeling at all. 

However. I've got a few habits back on track and am on a slow down swing again. Water. Packed lunches. Less snacking. 

AnywY. That's all for now. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


I am now heavier by .2lbs than when I started tracking on myfitnessspal on January 1, 2014. 

I lost 10lbs and have now gained it all back. 

Very depressing. 

It doesn't FEEL like I've changed my eating. I know I'm not getting enought water, but clearly I'm getting this food shit wrong. 

Back to school stress.
New job stress. 

I clearly have no coping skills other than to stuff my face. 

Blah. Time to take a long hard look in the mirror and remember, food is no friend of mine. 

Monday, March 2, 2015

February Recap 2015

Well, down .4lbs 

Feb 1 243.6
Feb 28 243.2

Today 241.4

Guess what! I'm going to be happy about it!! 

College classes are in full swing. Survived my midterms and keeping it in the 80's. 

Started new job this month, it's less fun than I was hoping, but I'm going to power through and just keep at it. Trying to stay positive. 

Bonus time is here!! 2 weeks until that pays out.

I've been maintaining my weights routine and actually working at drinking more water!! Yay!

All in all, I snack too much and over serve my meals. Trying to work at both those. 

Feeling a little reflective so Henry Rollins it is. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

January Recap 2015

Good lord. 

Every time I set a goal I gain weight. 

Every snack becomes my "last snack". 

It's a vicious cycle I put myself through. This month past it has been in full force. 


Sigh. Time to .... Once again.... Get back to basics. 

Monday, January 5, 2015

Goal: 215

Well, announced to my work out partners that my goal this year is to get to 215lbs. 

I never do well at these sorts of things, so making it public will help. The other lady is about 10lbs heavier than me, so she is going to aim for 215 too. She has 35 to lose.

Also our coach has got to drop 18lbs for his powerlifting weight class. So we are all in.

Today I did great:
Better water intake.
Breakfast, lunch & dinner on track
Few too many "treats" but less than normal. 3 cookies and 3 mini chocolates

Workout done:
Bench press 3 sets x 5 reps 100lbs
Complex work of 3 sets x 8 reps
Hang cleans 50lbs
Overhead press 50lbs
Hanging knee raises

It was a tough one!!

Water, breakfast, protein & tracking snacks is where I'm going to really focus right now.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2014 in review!

Well, it's been an interesting year. I wouldn't classify it as particularly successful in the weight loss department, but I've been building in some areas and just ignoring others. 


Year long:

Working out:
I've been keeping to my weekly weights, which is good. Getting stronger and my abs and arms are showing some real  muscle progress.

This year brought some work changes. I accepted a new position at my current company. A promotion, new department and an amazing opportunity. I will start the transition to the new job in early feb. 
I wouldn't say my boss is very happy to see me go, but -long story short- if you are not going to fulfill your promises about this job then I will find another. 

The other great opportunity that is being provided to me is that with this current position I will also be going back to school to finish my BBA. Yay!!!!!!! 

Forward progress:
Time to get off the "snack" horse and start tracking my food and water again. I want to make some better weight progress in the next year. 15-20lbs. 

Getting down to 220 in 2015...or maybe it should be 215 in 2015! Ha!! 

Either way, getting my planning back on track is going to be the key for this year, it's going to be a busy one!