The Husbeast was out of town last night, and as is my normal self sabotage ways... I stopped and let myself get a pint of ice cream.
Ben & Jerry's American Dream. I used to polish off one of those, a large pizza and 2 cokes.
Even with success,there is still the need to overfeed, binge, self sabotage. Its the ugly side of food for me. That I still look at it as a secret. I would NEVER do that if he was home, and well, he would give me the side eye and tell me not to.. so there is that as well.
I know that I can't eat a whole pint anymore, the sleeve has fixed that. But tat desire to feel sick from eating is still there. So, that happened. I ate ice cream on the sofa until I was sick. Which is really NOT the way that I want to maintain my weight. Throwing up is not good for you. Neither is eating a pint of ice cream. arg.
In terms of eating, I had been really quite good for the last week, and the scale is showing it. I cut back on the amount of eating out we have done. Upped my proteins in the work day and my water. Both of which are helping.
I did binge on ice cream last night, but not much of it stayed in. That just serves to highlight my success and failure at weight loss. I really wish that there was a magic pill for this - head and . I mean, I've had the sleeve surgery, which is about as close as I could come to a magic pill, but as everyone knows (who's had surgery, lapband etc), that there is STILL work to be done. This sleeve is a tool. It keeps things in check, just like carrying a smaller purse keeps me from lugging my whole world around on my shoulder. However, I still have to pick what go IN there.
Anyway, I think that writing about my food activity - the good and the bad - more. I wasn't going to .... I was just going to post my weight and try to forget about this happening. Writing this out and really examining myself and my eating is going to help in the end. I also confessed to the Husband, and let him know what I did, another thing that I wasn't going to do.
Weigh in this morning, 242.6. A new low for me! :) Which makes me happy, but also makes me aware that I don't want to think of it as a reward for bad behavior. So, keep drinking that water, and keep eating that protein girl.