I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs,
the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.


MEASURE TWICE - EAT ONCE!

Friday, February 28, 2014

February 2013 Monthly Recap

A solid month, feb is always an extra short one, but it always seems to go by slowly.

Numbers: 
Jan 31 - 240.8
Feb 2 - 241.8
Feb 3 - 242.0
Feb 4 - 241.0
Feb 5 - 241.0
Feb 6 - 240.8
Feb 7 - 240.8
Feb 8 - 240.8
Feb 9 - 239.8
Feb 10  - 241
Feb 11 - 240.6
Feb 12 - 240.8
Feb 13 - 240.4
Feb 14 - 241.2
Feb 17 - 241.0
Feb 18 - 240.4
Feb 19 - 240.8
Feb 20 - 240.2
Feb 21 - 239.6
Feb 22 - 239.4
Feb 23 - 240.6
Feb 24 - 239.8
Feb 25 - 238.6
Feb 26 - 238.6
Feb 27 - 236.8
Feb 28 - 236.8

Total weight loss in feb: 4lbs
Total overall: 64.2

This is my lowest end of month weigh in ever! Win!! Pretty close to my lowest weight, so I'm really happy to be in this zone again. 

Feb 2014 Graph
 

Gallbladder Surgery on the 25th has given me a big downswing for the end of the month, but I'm hoping to keep it (or at least half of it) and continue to chip away at the fat. I'm excited to be able the eat more normally as well. 

Sadly I can't workout with weights for the next four weeks, but I'm going to focus on walking, biking and clean eating. Lots of water and the good stuff. 

I've been scarfing sugar and junk too much, so for march I want to focus on that and make sure I'm staying aware of what is going in. 

That's all for this months recap. Not a lot of details, but it is what it is. 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Recovery

Gallbladder removal went as well as possible. 

No complications and I'm home resting. Off the pain meds today - they make me feel worse - nausea and dizzy, but good for sleeping almost all day on Wednesday. 

I'm feeling a lot better today, able to keep some food down, easy foods - broth soups and crackers. Almost feels like my VSG all over again, but way less painful! 

I'm very pleased to have the offending organ out. And this is one of the nicest "vacations" I've had in a while. I feel no obligation to get up and do any cleaning, laundry, or anything. Rest, nap, HBO and recover. 

:)

Monday, February 24, 2014

Power Lifting

I was going to call this "Public Adventures", but then I thought that it might give the wrong impression.   LOL

So this weekend past I attended and participated in a Power Lifting event.  I've been working out with a friend and he convinced me to compete.  Squats, bench press and Dead lifts.  You get three chances at each event, you have to follow the (I won't get into all the minutia) form and specifications for each move. But most importantly... you are REQUIRED to wear a form fitting singlet.

Like a wresting singlet.  Ladies can wear a t-shirt under. 

So... as a large, still have wight to lose woman - this was a very very difficult thing to mentally process.  I would be on display in front of MANY people showing my lumps.  But, I decided that I would do it  - paid the fees and committed myself.

I have to say, that I was probably the most judgey person there. No one else gave a sh*t...  was all "LOOKING" at people and comparing and thinking about what I look like compared to them.  OMG I'm dysfunctional.  People at these events only care about one thing... that you are there.  They admire STRONG, they don't see fat.  They see body mechanics. 

Despite the fear and stress about it... I think that power lifting is going to be great for me mentally.  Fat people there are worthy and strong. 

Anyway, I was the only woman in my category - open women unequipped. So I won my class (of 1). teehee!  but I'm hooked.

My hubby videoed my lifts an I have to say - that I didn't recognize myself. In fact he told me that a couple of times he was scanning the crowd and din't recognize me.  LOL!  Success!!



Tomorrow is my gallbladder surgery, so I'll be off all week suffering.   Weee.   1 month until I can work out again.  :)

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Pre-Op appointmnt

I've been working like crazy to pre for my week off next week.  I have an event that I have been planning for work, and I won't be there to run it - so its twice as uch organization!

I have to jet out for my pre op today at 9:30, and last night... part of a filing came out.

*SIGH*

I turn 40 this year...feels like I'm falling apart.

Such is life.  I've DVR'ed a bunch of programs, and I'll have my laptop at home - so I'll likely check in a couple of times to make sure everything is going as planned.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Perspective

Perspective is one of those things that I find hard to have. Objective perspective, that is. I've spent a lifetime being really hard on myself, and I think that its nature to find faults and obsess over them.  The "grass is always greener" mentality, which can make us strive, but also does impair my vision of myself. 

So, I know when I have the moments that are the sun peeking through the clouds, that I have to mark them down.

I've been lifting weights now for just over 2 months 3x a week. I've been warming up on the bike and doing lots of god stretching. I've seen my weights number go up, the workouts are easier, I am certainly stronger. (YAY!), and lifting and my mobility is better.

Of course, in my "mind" - WEIGHT!!! is the thing that I track and WEIGHT is the be-all-end-all.  So its been hard to see the zero-sum game of the old up-down on the scale. 242 - 240lbs.

I still see FAT when I look in the mirror, so I just have to keep mentally working on it. However, I had a great NSV yesterday.   Which must be logged.

My Chiropractor said - Oh, I can see that you have lost weight again. Your legs have a noticeable change!  Which is always great, since she sees me in a different way, without judgement. 

I mentioned it last night to my weight lifting coach/buddy and he said - oh yeah - I can totally see a difference.  :)  

So last evening, while ruminating over this, and looking at my legs folded up on the couch, I started to notice it.  My "tight" pants were baggy, where I never noticed that before. The waistband actually gaped, instead of being taunt.

Today, I'm wearing my skinny pants (coldwater creek 16's) and they are not as tight as they were the last time I wore them.

Chalking this up to VICTORY!  I'm going to enjoy it too!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentines Jerky!

Since fatty chocolates are out - thanks to the gallstones.... The husband picked me up something a little special! LOL 

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Water 3

Already on it this morning, filled the waterbottle, already drank as much as I did yesterday by 2pm.

I'm going to get it all in me today!!!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Water 2

annnnnnd... I've not had any water to drink yet today.

honestly.

Can I be taught...Dwight might have a few things to say about it.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Water

Yesterday I had in more water then I normally have been.... 

Weight this morning... 239.8

Starting to learn yet Tamzin? 

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Wedensday workout

got my wednesday workout in.

Bike - 5min
trot over to the gym
dynamic warm ups

gobblet squats
30lbs kettle bell x 2 sets x 8 reps

deadlifts
135 x 3 sets x 5 reps

Pushpss
45 x 5 reps
65 x 3 sets x 5 reps

2x 30secon planks.  Finally feeling some more progressin my ab strength!

:) 

work is killing me right now... so back to it.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Jauary 2014 Monthly Recap

January 2014 - not the greatest start to a year, but I did finally get a loss this month after three on the rise. An artificially low loss, but what is on the scale is what I write down, so in the long run, its all going to come out in the wash.

Its also kinda nice.... I've had three months in a row with gains - 4.4lbs in total.  So I've knocked that back by about half. 

+.4lbs - Oct 2103
+2.6lbs - Nov 2013
+1.4lbs - Dec 2013

January by the numbers:

Dec 31 - 243
Jan 1 - 244.4
Jan 2 - 243.6
Jan 3 - 243.0
Jan 4 - 242.8
Jan 5 - 241.8
Jan 6 - 241.8
Jan 7 - 241.8
Jan 8 - 242.8
Jan 9 - 242.8
Jan 10 - 243.6
Jan 11 - 241.6
Jan 12 - 240.6
Jan 13 - 241.2
Jan 14 - 241.2

Jan 15 - 242.4
Jan 16 - 241.8
Jan 17 -241.6
Jan 18 - 242.0
Jan 19 - 242.0
Jan 20 - 241.6
Jan 21 - 240.6
Jan 22 - 241.8
Jan 23 - 242.4
Jan 25 - 243.6
Jan 26 - 243.8
Jan 27 -242.4
Jan 28 - 243.2
Jan 29 - 243.2
Jan 30 - 243.6
Jan 31 - 240.8

January - total lbs lost - 2.2

Total lbs lost - 60.2



The month has been hard.  I was coming off the sugar high of the holidays where the sweets and chocolates were fast and free flowing and I was getting sucked in deeper and deeper into candy-heaven. 

I've been struggling with water - that has got a lot better, but there is still much room for improvement. 

On the positive side - I've been sticking to my weights and exercise, which feels great.   The scale hasn't changed that much, but my clothes are fitting a lot better.

My naughty food habits have caught up with me and this past week I was officially diagnosed with "spastic gallbladder" and gallstones.  It's going to have to come out - yesterday I met with the surgeon, and it looks like Feb 25th is the date.  

So, this month is going to be low fat... very low fat diet.  Gallstones are no joke. Ug!   So painful.   Also, this has really forced me to reevaluate my food choices - high fat high protein ones (cheese, whole eggs, ice cream, the occasional cookie... the list of sh!t carries on). 

However, the threat of pain and emergency surgery is keeping me on track.   Also hoping that this long stretch of good eating, combined with recovering from surgery is going to help me get over the 240's and well into the 230's where I can stay and keep the momentum going.
 
Which reminds me that I'm pretty damn close to "my goal" for weight.   I was between 210 and 230lbs in college.  Of course, my doctor would like me to get to 175, but that is just not something that I see happening for me.  However, 210... that I can see happening for me. 

I also think that I put 185 on my ticker...that is slightly people pleasing - I want to get there because its mentally as close to 175 as  think I could get....but I know that this is really not something that I need to do for me.  But also, want to make the dr's happy so I'm leaving it up there...typical lday BS. 

If I get to 210 I'll be very pleased.   If it so happens that I have room to move downwards from there... I will. But with my frame and muscle mass, I don't see it happening.  Anyway, I'd actually like to be a size 12/14.  That would make me pleased - easy shopping, all regular stores. Whatever weight that is - should be fine with me.   (omg... nice caveat).

Anyway, this has become quite lengthy for no reason whatsoever... and considerably less interesting.  So.   Back to work!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Managing!

Well, gallstone are a snag in the ol' plans. However, there are always silver lining. 
I'm making changes in my diet so that I avoid the trigger foods.... Fats, eggs, cheeses. 

To be honest, I was eating a lot of fat. Small amounts, but consistently through the days. Plus I had been eating the hell out of eggs and cheese. A bag of chips here, little ice creams there/nightly.... You know. 

Anyway, research done. Grocery trip finished (should have waited until AFTER the game started). 

Ground turkey
White fish
Chicken breast 
Lots of veg: beets, cauliflower, carrots, cucumber, squash
Blueberries
Low fat cheese (in moderation)
Low fat cottage cheese
Protein shakes & protein pudding
For a treat, frozen low fat yogurt. 

All the usuals... Except now I won't be doing any off track snacking. 

I have an appointment with a surgeon on Monday afternoon, so I will get some more information and a possible surgery date. 

At the very least this should shift a good ten pounds that I've been letting stay around.