2012 - I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs, the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.

2017 - I'm preop for the Duodenal Switch procedure for my sleeve to help me get to goal weight....and to fix another hiatal hernia.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Hi Ho Hi Ho....

...its back to work I went! 

3/4 day for me at the office. My gawds the emails - they do stack up!  It was really nice to get back into it though, and people were hella impressed with my weight loss.  My "cover story" is holding up, so I'm happy. I showed restraint as the cookies and cupcakes were passed around.

What is it with offices and the sweets, they just never stop.

I had my very first time with trouble eating.  I had some lemon pepper tuna and a 1/2tsp of olive oil mayo.  However, I was standing in the kitchen eating and I went too fast and the tuna was too dry.  Sat down at my desk and WHAM-O.... I popped straight up out of my chair like a jack-in-the-box. It felt like it was stuck and I wasn't able to properly swallow.

Took a couple minutes of me walking and swallowing in the hall to get it cleared up.

Alls well and lesson learned. Slower, wetter food still. I'm in the baby stage still, take care! Tomorrows menu is must more gentle.  Harder to get the proteins in without some kind of meats, so I just have to eat smarter.  All I can say is, Thanks the Gawds that I'm not lactose intolerant.

Todays food stats:

Calories in: 1,007
Fats: 34
Carbs: 108
Proteins: 59.5

Pretty good!   Getting close to ideal.

I think my weigh in tomorrow is going to be a biggie.   I started my period today (TMI sorry) and I had forgot all about that coming on, and I'm Oh so Close to my 10% body weight gone.  30lbs!   Which is a weight of 271 lbs. 

This mornings weigh in: 271.8lbs.  Just a mere pound away!   Exciting!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Many yipes today.

1. So, I thought that I was all healed up.

Well, that is mostly true. Whilst giving my belly a vigorous toweling off this morning, I re-opened my belly button incision!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YIPES!!!!!

I held a towel on it for a while to stop the bleeding, then tried to clean it out with q-tips (the belly button).  Its holding steady and I'm waiting to hear back from my surgeon about what to do.  It was open, deep to maybe a little less then a 1/4inch. Not too sure, but I could see in. Not far, but a good sized cut.

The bleeding has stopped now, but I'm super nervous now!!!!

**UPDATE**  Dr called - stuff belly button with gause, tape over. That should do it - be careful, if there are any other issues, call!  :)

2. Holding steady at 272.

No change for the first time in 2 weeks.   I was .... devastated, but calmly realistic.

I'm aiming for no excuses, but not beating myself up. I used to overeat all the time, its my default setting. That is why I got fat. I have to take these moments and learn from them.  I can and will learn, I already put it into practice.I had a good long talk with myself last night, and this morning. I have been overeating, past full with the sleeve since hitting the purred phase. Time to dial it back in.

So I threw out the pudding and the Ensures this morning. Step one completed!

I had 4oz greek yogurt this morning at 7:00.  At 10am, I made 1/2c canned crab (45cal/10protein), 1 queso laughing cow (35/2) and 2 eggs (156/12) all scrabbled up.  Ate half. The second half is in the fridge for later.  Very pleased. Step two completed.

Good job me.

4. Curious.... anyone else who has the surgery and incisions...

I have 2 on the left side, mid belly, quite close to each other. Around them I still have a lot of swelling - its like an inch father out around those two than anywhere else.  Anybody else experience this?   Does it finally go away. Am I beeing to optimistic, it has only been 2 weeks. 

Need to file that under "questions to ask as the next doctors appointment", of course, that could be later today!  

5. Work

So I was planning on starting back at work tomorrow, so this is a little monkey wrench in that plan. Might have to make it a half day.

Right, back to it. I had a huge list of things to get done pre-working full time, so I have to get hopping.  Its going to be a harder day with one hand on my belly botton!!

Monday, October 29, 2012

2 Week Follow up Appointment

I've been running around like a bat outa hell today, so late late blogging and I need to get in bed for another long day tomorrow.

I went out and bought 2 pair of work pants. Size 20. Down from the 24s I have been wearing! WOOHOO!

This afternoon I had my follow up and stitches out.

BP: 112/82 - HELL YES!
Weight: 275.4 (fully clothed without peeing first! WINNER!).
BMI: 40 - down from 43ish!!

He is really pleased with my progress. I can start back working out next Monday - biking and weights. Try to eat around 1,000 cal a day - high protein. Water. You know the drill!

I counted up my calories today and I was WELL over (1,400). I'm surprised, I didn't think that I would be able to manage as much as I did, however, I have some things that I should just eliminate from the fridge, and I ate pudding 2 times today, so yeah...those have to go.  Also:

Strawberry Ensure - 8oz
calories: 250
fat: 8
Carb: 32!!
Prot: 9

These were great when it took me three or four "meals" to drink the whole thing, but not so much now that I can do it in two. Not a good choice of calories or protein now that I can have tuna. These will go down the sink tomorrow.

Okay. regardless of how today was, its time for sleep and I need to get my butt to bed and no reading tonight :( 

Weigh in this morning: 272lbs  down .6

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Hey baby

Yep... I'm going there.....

First meal

I made it to the pureed foods stage :)

This mornings breakfast was 1 egg scrambled with 1 herb & garlic laughing cow cheese (its on a little side plate).

Calories: 113
Fat: 7.3
Carb: 1.6
Protein: 8.8

I took small bits, that I chewed really well, and managed to finish it all.  I was full at the end and felt a little different, I think it is the bulk that is in there. 

Second meal was 1 sachet of instant cream of wheat (plain) made with 3/4c of skim milk (got to get that protein!).

Calories: 168
Fat: .5
Carb:  26.3
Protein: 9.6

I'm going to go and have 4oz of protein shake now, and get ready for the day. Laundry is happening, the dog needs a bath and I have some more meals to plan.  I have some instant grits I'm going to try, some tuna and a few others things!   Exciting times!!

weigh in this morning: 272.6.  down .2lbs.  Certainly not my typical, but I think its about that time that it slowed up a little.  Doctors appointment tomorrow, so I'm hoping I can start biking again!

Saturday, October 27, 2012


My laparoscopic incisions are healing well (all five of them) and I can judge my healing progress on how I'm sleeping.

I'm a side sleeper ... I hate sleeping on my back, which is really the only option post surgery swelling & incisions! Last night I managed to get in some sleeping on both my right and left sides! YAY! I did spend most of the night on my back, but it was so nice to get side time! No pain anymore, just a little discomfort - mostly in the belly button incision. However, Totally Manageable!

Hurray for healing progress! Right after surgery it felt like that swelling was never going to go away!!! Phew!

Day 13

Day 13!!  I'm super excited because that means that tomorrow is Day 14 and on Day 14 I get to start adding back into my life..... pureed food!

Which means that I'm going to start to get to eat two of my favorite breakfast foods again: Scrambled eggs and cottage cheese!!!!!!  Not together, those are just my go to breakfasts. I am super excited!!!

I'm slightly nervous.....

How much am  I going to be able to eat?
Am I going to be able to control myself?
Is this sleeve still going to work?

You know, all the crazy fat girl questions that ping around in the brain pan making a nuisance of themselves.

I know that this is working, it will continue to work and I'm not going to eat too much. It's uncomfortable and scary. I don't want to break out any stitches, I don't want to overeat. I know that this is a mind thing, so I'm going to work really hard on it.  I'm confident though, in my experiences with my first phase and yogurt. You can't eat more, its full at the inn and it tells you!  :)

Getting my protein in is going to be a snap now. Eggs, tuna, crab, re-fried beans.....Yes yes and yes! I have also bought some chicken and turkey baby food containers, so that I can get in a little variety in my meats.

My daily protein this last 2 weeks has ranged between 36 (low) to 65 (high) for the liquid phase. Its hard to get enough protein in, so this is going to be a relief.  I'm also looking forward to starting back exercising.... I'll see what is allowed. I've been walking the dog and doing our house stairs all day.  I have a stationary bike that I can't wait to get back on. 

Okay - here is day 14 - through week 4 (Nov 18th).

Heres the list:

2-3Tbsp at a time
60 - 80g protein daily
- fine chopped scrambled eggs
- pureed meats/poultry (low fat broth or gravy to soften)
- soft flaky fish (low fat mayo to moisten)
- fat free re-fried beans
- cottage cheese
- Yogurt
- mashed potatoes/sweet potatoes/pumpkin (WOOT just in time for the pumpkin season!)
- pureed fruits
- pureed veg
- cooked cereals (I have oatmeal, cream o wheat, grits, rice meal)
plus everything from the prior stage. So I'll likely be having a shake a day still, and getting in as much water as I can.

I need to do a quick shopping trip as I'm out of broth, yogurt and low fat mayo, and I want to pick up some more veg - specifically avocado because it will go nicely with the tuna and crab meat.

Weigh in today: 272.8

one more pound gone.  :) 

Happy Saturday!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Real Clothes

I'm going to admit that I've been pretty much chilling in tee shirts, sport bras, athletic shorts, yoga pants and stretchy tank tops since my surgery.  I take casual and comfortable to a whole new low! ha!

However, I had to go out into the real world today with the Husbeast to his doctors appointment, so I felt the pressure to put on some real clothes instead of looking like I just popped up off the sofa from a nap.

Okay, I still wore a sports bra... however, I put on my Capri's and a (real) tank top and a "fancy" kind of tee shirt over it.  Everything was loose. I typically would fight with that tank top to stay out from under the tee to "hide" my fatness. An epic battle of riding up vs pulling down, that I was on the losing side of.

Today. It just hung there.  YES!

I'm really looking forward to not spending so much time dressed like a fat gym coach. I can't wait to not have to worry about being uncomfortable in button up clothes so much so that I won't wear them anytime other then for work.

Monday is my 2 week follow up appointment with my WLS surgeon, I'm so excited!!! I think that I'll be headed back into the office on Tuesday.  At least part days, and go from there. I can't miss much more work, so I'm going to have to tough it out.

Weigh in today: 273.8

another 1.6lbs gone.  Woot!!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

First of many.....

Yesterday afternoon I got the best compliment ever...  from my Chiropractor. 

"WOW, I can feel your collarbones". 

My neck adjustment was way easier too.   Talk about seeing some real benefits right away. She is so proud of me for taking control and making changes, she did also want to remind me that the VSG is not a magic bullet, and I am still responsible for what goes in my mouth, "you are what you eat". Yep, I am!!

There are a few other changes/Non-Scale Victories:

1. I put on a tee shirt without arm stretching it into a tent. Yep, just put it on. amazballz!

2. The stairs in our house are easier, and that's significant since we are in a 3 floor town home with high ceilings.  Its a lot of up and down. I don't dread forgetting something upstairs anymore.

Back to the Chiro - She is one of the few people that I've told about my surgery.  I'm not telling many people, a few close friends and the medical professionals that need to know. That sadly doesn't include my family, Husbeast (of course) is the exception. My family is just too messy to share with, they are the people that just have to tear down all efforts.  So, they are excluded.

I had a hiatal hernia repair while I was getting the VSG, and that is what all my casual friends, co-workers and family know.  It's a significant surgery in itself, and has about the same healing time.  I did pre everyone that I work with that as a result of my surgery (Hiatal hernias are exacerbated/caused by being obese) that I've been put on a doctor supervised liquid diet/diet and have joined a support group. 

I'm sure that there are going to be a number of people that will suspect, however I doubt that any of them will have the nuts to ask me straight out. If they do, I'll lie.

I'm so not happy to do that. However, here are my feelings on it:

I've been discriminated, teased and harassed long enough about my weight that I don't now feel the need to let everyone know that I had surgery to help me. That is between me and my doctor. Surgery is not the easy way out. It's going to be hard. Putting yourself first is hard. Making positive changes is good....no matter how they come. I'm proud of my decision, I'm proud of my efforts, and I don't need anyone looking down on me for not "doing it the right/hard way".

If there was someone you worked with who was sad looking, then they started looking happy, would you ask them what medications they are on? No, you wouldn't. That is personal, medical and none of your business.

I kind of figure that its going to be 6 months - year of people giving me the side-eye, then it will all blow over and they will forget.  Easy peasey lemon squeezy.

Okay. Enough of that song and dance.   Back to the happy.

Todays weigh in:  275.4lbs

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Phase 1 - Liquids

I have yet to really talk about what I'm eating and in what quantities, other then 4oz containers.

Here is a nugget, I was looking at the Tupperware and 4oz is half a cup. Yeah... that's not what my mind saw as a half a cup.  I would have said a cup was half a cup.  We are dialing into the issues here. :)

Every hour I am to get in some kind of liquid food - with as much protein as possible. No drinking for 30min post eating. Every 15min after that, get in my calorie free liquids. I'm getting about 3oz.

Anyway, there are all kinds of VGS diets that you can google, so I'm not going to re-type the whole thing.  I'm in the liquids phase right now.  14 days of that before I more to a more mature  "puree" phase.  Yes, I had bought some baby food in advance!

Liquids for my Doctor includes:
cream soup
protein shakes
G2 (his recommended drink of choice)

Basically anything that you can suck up a straw with ease. NO LUMPS.  I have been adding in Laughing Cow cheeses, because they are really the same consistency of yogurt, but are nice and savory!  Which is a treat after all the sweet of shakes.

I'm aiming for 45+ g of Protein in this phase, which is mighty difficult without meat. The protein shakes are getting a little boring. As well, I need 60oz of clean, no calorie fluids (water etc) to keep me hydrated.

My calories per day are between 650 - 850.  What I used to eat for breakfast on a regular day.  Amazing.

I'm doing well - I've been adding powdered milk and skim milk to my soups (looking for low fat cream soups). That ups the proteins without too much bulk, which is key!

However, this morning I was in the temple of coffee, and picked up some via sticks for the seasonal pumpkin flavor!!!!!  I'm guessing that I can use one of these sticks for at least 3 or 4 shakes.  YAY for pumpkin vanilla.  Very exciting!

This post is really disjointed, but I just started typing, no real plan this afternoon.  Sorry about that.

Weigh in this morning, an astounding 276.4.  Not too sure what is up with the .4s, but I'll take the -2lbs a day for now!  

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Too good to be true?

I was laying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep because I was SURE, SURE that I was going to start gaining again. There was no way that I was going to get onto the scale today and there would be another loss. It goes against ALL my years of dieting, deprivation, sweat, tears and agony over my weight.

I'm not.

Its really hard to comprehend. It's like gravity NOT working. I'm just going to drop this apple from my hand and its going to drop to the floor like always.... but instead it floats up.

It's kind of a mind f**k. I've been some kind of overweight my whole life. I have been dieting, working out and losing/gaining for EVER. More gaining in the last few years then losing.  So the rain was always followed by the drought, it has never not happened like that. How could this be??

I have had diet/fitness/WL blogs. I've tracked, measured, squeezed and counted. I've read hundreds of blogs about WL, fitness, atkins, green tea, black tea, all meat, no meat, no fat, low carb, etc etc ad nausium.   However, I had avoided WLS blogs, most likely because it was hard to read about success when all I could do was fail.

How that I have joined the ranks of those that have had WLS, and read their blogs, there is one common theme.... it works (okay, I'm mostly reading VSG blogs, but there are a few others in there), and I was looking at myself this morning thinking...

You are doing it. You are going to lose this 100lbs of shame that you have been carrying with you, You are going to love it.

So this morning was a new lesson. This is working, its going to keep working, and I have so much to look forward to (with the work that I am going to do as well).

Weight today: 278.4lbs

Monday, October 22, 2012

Alls well!

Poop happened this morning. Feeling good. I think that its just my body adjusting to the small amount of food that I've been eating.

I have my list and spreadsheet and its hilarious to see that I used to consume more before 11am then I do in an entire day now.

Correlation much.... maybe?! :)

my body is sore and tired, I do have a bit of arthritis and its starting to act up now that I've been off the anti-inflams for 2 weeks.  Its not nice, but next Monday is my 2 week follow up and I'll just have to wait for them to tell me when I can get back on them.

I'm actually anticipating that my arthritis is going to be considerable less painful without an extra 100lbs bearing down on it everyday. 

My mouth is feeling like carpet. Not eating anything/chewing anything is leaving my tongue all fuzzy. Time to break out the toothbrush then go and watch some Diners, Drive ins, and Dives. LOL  Fat girl porn.

The pipes the pipes are calling.....

Monday - One week post surgery.  

Weight today was 280.4lbs.  I am seriously shocked and awed.

However, I've not "pooped" since yesterday afternoon. Liquid diet gives you a very generous view of what poop can be considered.  So I think I've hit the first of the constipation phase that I have read about.

Pee is still light yellow, although I had a few yesterday that were darker then I'd like.  Hitting the clear liquids today, tracking everything, and making sure that something happens before noon or I'll call the Doc.


also... two hundred and fraking eighty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Stats and stuff

I weighed in this morning at 281.8lbs today.

My pre-surgery weights were:

1st appointment - 301
2nd appointment - 299
Pre-op bloodletting - 299
Pre-op nutrition meeting - 297
Pre-op pee/bed/surgery - 294.5

In total: -19.2lbs

I'm going to have to get one of those ticker thingies that show my progress.

I'm on day 6, and have lost just over 12lbs. That seems pretty unreal when I type it out. Luckily I have some photos on my iPhone that I'm going to have to sort out so that I can visualize this.

I've not been hungry yet, I've eaten every hour today and had water. Feeling pretty fly!

I know that this rapid loss is going to stop soon, and get more regular and slow - like 2lbs a week instead of a day. I'm happy with that as well.  I've been hiding in the house reading magazines and watching netflix, I can't wait for someone other then the husbeast to see me.

I've spent some quality time today reading and looking for blogs.  I'm excited by what I see and find. I can't wait to read more deeply.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Post 1

Well, there always has to be a first one, so I want to get it out of the way.  I'm on Day 5 post surgery, if you don't count the day of surgery, which I'm not.

I've been reading and researching for months, talking and watching friends who had surgery and their success over the last years. I've watched me expand and expand to the tune of nearly 10lbs a year for the last 4 years taking me from obese to super obese.

I've been trying and failing on my own for too long, and I'm too smart to keep at the same old ways that I know don't work for me.  So I finally took the plunge, and I think that a little documentation is going to be a great assistance along with the physical support group that I'm attending monthly.

First impressions.....

1. I'm a hell of a lot more sore then I thought that I would be. I don't know if this is because I also had a Hiatal Hernia repair along with the VSG surgery.

2. I love not being hungry.

3. I love that 3oz gives me the same feeling of full that 3 cheeseburgers used to.

That is all.
for now.