I was laying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep because I was SURE, SURE that I was going to start gaining again. There was no way that I was going to get onto the scale today and there would be another loss. It goes against ALL my years of dieting, deprivation, sweat, tears and agony over my weight.
Its really hard to comprehend. It's like gravity NOT working. I'm just going to drop this apple from my hand and its going to drop to the floor like always.... but instead it floats up.
It's kind of a mind f**k. I've been some kind of overweight my whole life. I have been dieting, working out and losing/gaining for EVER. More gaining in the last few years then losing. So the rain was always followed by the drought, it has never not happened like that. How could this be??
I have had diet/fitness/WL blogs. I've tracked, measured, squeezed and counted. I've read hundreds of blogs about WL, fitness, atkins, green tea, black tea, all meat, no meat, no fat, low carb, etc etc ad nausium. However, I had avoided WLS blogs, most likely because it was hard to read about success when all I could do was fail.
How that I have joined the ranks of those that have had WLS, and read their blogs, there is one common theme.... it works (okay, I'm mostly reading VSG blogs, but there are a few others in there), and I was looking at myself this morning thinking...
You are doing it. You are going to lose this 100lbs of shame that you have been carrying with you, You are going to love it.
So this morning was a new lesson. This is working, its going to keep working, and I have so much to look forward to (with the work that I am going to do as well).
Weight today: 278.4lbs