2012 - I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs, the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.

2017 - I'm preop for the Duodenal Switch procedure for my sleeve to help me get to goal weight....and to fix another hiatal hernia.

Sunday, June 30, 2013


That went badly. I'm in bed with my legs up. My hip is twinging, and I have that "pre injury" feeling.

Rest ice ibuprofen ... And fingers crossed that I did enough that it doesn't spaz out. 

I have a couple calls to make tomorrow to chiro and orthopedic dr. I need to find out what the issue is. 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Weights! Finally

I did my first light light workout this morning since my hip groin disaster almost(?) two months ago!!

I did some wall squats, some very light dead lifts and that was all! 


New shoes.... Neon, not just for the 80's anymore!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Goal Setting

Its been a good week and my goal setting has been showing on the scale.

I have been eating more clean proteins and drinking more water. It's good!  This morning I was back down to my lowest touched weight 240.8.  Very exciting. Yesterdays lunch was cottage cheese, cherries, pineapple and raspberries.  Yeah, that kicks the hell out of

I also made a goal for me and the Husbest for this week.  No Eating Out. Lunch or Dinner this week.

So many extra calories hidden in food that you buy made. There is just no avoiding it - restaurants want you to come back, you will if the food is good, to make the food good they have to make it tasty, to make it tasty you use fats.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the suffering. Suffering leads to eating cookies and ice cream.

Okay, I adding in the last part, but who can blame me! Nothing better than a good starwars quote on a Wednesday.  :)

Anyway - we are staying away from the evil dark side of eating out this week. We have lots of groceries in the house, good stuff too. So its not like we are going to... suffer!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Protein & Water

This weekend I focused on getting in my clean proteins.  Did I eat some things that should be off the menu. Yes. However, I focused on a few things and it made a bit of a difference:
  1. proteins
  2. not eating until I felt full. Stopping before
  3. feeling hungry
  4. drinking my water
I am still struggling with water. I think that I always have. I am not a sipper, I don't see it and think of it. I have always drank when I'm thirsty.  So this is a hard one. But, I'm getting there.

In fact, I'm cutting this post short and heading into the office kitchen to get my water bottle full up.  Today I'm going to get in my water.  That is the goal for Monday.

Friday, June 21, 2013



I am dissatisfied with my efforts for the last bit. I will take some time and remedy this situation over the weekend and coming weeks. 

Time to get back on it.

The 240's are not my friend. I am feeling fat and uncomfortable.  Time to shift another 10lbs and get the engine started into burning consitatly again.

Time to work on the problem.  Me!

Monday, June 17, 2013


Once again, I've been neglecting my water and I need to get the eff back on it.

Argggg! Water.


Early girl gets the worm!

I got slapped with some extra work on Saturday.. via blackberry.  Weeeee!   They are a blessing and a curse. 

The husband had to be at the office at 6am today, so I decided it was worth it to just come along, and I have extra work that needs doing.

It was so damn early and I was so damn zombified that I forgot to weigh in.

However, last night I packed an awesome lunch - I have a couple of yogurts, cherries, red grapes, a couple of babybel's,  thin Triskets and tuna.  I do love a picnic at my desk! 

Happy Monday!

Friday, June 14, 2013

ABC - Always Be Chewing

Well, last night was my first big scare with the sleeve.

Chew everything well... that is a tough one for me and last night this bite me in the ass big time. Or the stomach really.

Dinner was 2 babybel, 1oz goat cheese, 3/4 of a green apple and 15 thin-triskets.

AND... I didn't chew the apple very well, nor did I cut it up.  About 30 min after eating, I started to get uncomfortable... then hot and really uncomfortable... then I got a sharp pain I my sternum and sides.  I went in a barfed a couple times. 

Second barf I saw a big 'ol chunk of apple... like half the tip of my thumb sized and knew that I was in trouble.  Apple skin is not particularly digestible AND that is a good size piece - for sure enough to jam up the bottom in there.

I was terrified. Did I break it? did I just tear my stomach? Did my appendix just give out?  Have I damaged myself?  Yikes. 

I walked around like a woman in labor - breathing hard and stretching and sipping water for about 10 minutes Then boom. It was gone.

ABC - Always Be Chewing!!!!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The whole world is a nail when your only tool is a hammer

Yesterday was a good day - its tough to look back and realize that you are letting yourself down.  Even more so AFTER surgery to help you.   I keep saying it over and over. This is a tool. I am dysfunctional.  The tool works, I just have to apply the tool correctly.

What is that saying: The whole world is a nail when your only tool is a hammer.

Weigh in this morning was: 243.6.  Phew!  Coming back down to reasonable - in line with my actions... amazing that. 

Okay - so I'm going to keep up with the food pics for a while because it is really helping me right now.

Not Pictured - Morning Coffee
Cal -  20
P - 0

Cal - 280
P - 10
(ate this in 2 shots - there is too much to eat in one go)

Cal - 40
P - 0

Lunch - same same!
16 Wheat Thins - 150 / 2
2 light swiss laughing cows - 70 / 4
Babybel Mozzarella - 50 / 6
Lemon Pepper Tuna - 80 / 18

Small Chai Latte
Cal - 120
P - 4

Cinnamon scone
cal - 454
P - 7
Cal - 70
P - 5

Amy's Mac & Cheese with 1/2c peas
Cal - 480
P - 20

Cal - 150
P - 1

12 for me (this was shared with the hubby)
Cal - 62
P - 1
Cal - 2,026
P - 78
Okay - so this is a little bit of a surprise for me - I actually had more calories yesterday then Tuesday (the terrible day). However yesterday I had what I would call "Better Food".
Less crap.  Less sugar. I did have a scone and some licorice. I only had half of that latte, but I wasn't frantically eating after work and I felt good - balanced. 
I was hungry when I woke up this morning, and now I feel full after my breakfast.  The scale was down this morning and I feel better. Chalking this one up to Win and back on track.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Where the Pitty Party ends on a Wednesday & I have crow pie for lunch.

Food Yesterday... there are a couple things not pictured
Morning coffee (not pictured)
Cal - 20
Protein - 0

Cal - 160
P - 20

Cal - 40
P - 0

Cal - 220
P - 13

16 Wheat thins - 150 / 2
2 lite swiss laughing cows (put one back in the fridge) - 70 / 4
White Cheddar Babybel - 70 / 4
Tuna Packet - 80 / 18
Cal - 375
P -  28

Snack 8 Wheat thins - 75 / 1

Cal - 250
P - 5
2 Hard Boiled eggs (not pictured). Eaten in the parking lot of the Whole Foods after shopping). I could have had just one - but I ate two.  Would have been better to have these earlier instead of the M&M's.
Cal - 156
P - 12
Black Licorice (no picture). Eaten in the parking lot of the Marshall's while headed home after getting a new dog bed because he had shredded his today while we were at work.
Cal - 150
P - 1

about 3 oz of salmon, greens with .5 blue cheese and 1/2 T of evoo
Cal - 130
P - 21
Cal - 70
P - 5

Peach pie & little ice cream
Cal - 150
P - 1
Ice cream
Cal - 200
P - 4

So yeah... this girl is all... boohoo I'm not losing weight and I don't know why... THIS IS WHY. 

POOR EFFING CHOICESM&M's and Licorice, and Pie and Ice cream.....one in the day - sure. All three.  That is why you are up on the scale again.

Daily Calories: 1,996
Daily Protein - 111

If I had just cut out the M&M's and the licorice, I would have been at 1,500 and 100.  THAT would be a reasonable day.  Not this.

So yeah.  Food picture day for the win.  Time to re-evaluate my lunch packing and get this sorted out.

Saturday, June 8, 2013


Why am I so afraid of being hungry? 

Ug. I have been obsessing over food and hunger for the last week. After so much great success the week before. 


Thursday, June 6, 2013

Fixing it

omg...  traveling and eating in cheese country all weekend did NOT do me any favors. 

I have a cheese/salt bloat on. Dehydrated from flying and driving myself around. Sleep deprived from staying up late socializing, and sleeping in strange beds for 4 days.

Water was a distant memory yesterday and I realizing on the way home, I had consumed maybe 8oz that day.

I'm all clogged up, over tired and under watered. 

Weight has been up, up and up.  I know why.

Time to get back on this pony.