Vacation

Well, last week I was on vacation and headed up to Canada to visit the family.

It was a tough one - I hadn't been home in 2 years. YIKES!  That's a lot of changes going on.

Also, my Nana has lung cancer, its not terminal (yet) and we are worried. They were going to operate on it  but once she was open they found it was too big and too many blood vessels involved. She is starting radiation this week.  I'm hopeful, but our family is very quiet and they don't talk openly about stuff.  She gave me a painting that I love from her house, and a book of poetry that she had when she was in school.  Which didn't make me feel better about it all.  :(   But I have my hopes high that she makes it through alright.

Also, my mother retired from 34yrs working for the school district in her area.  I have not held a job for longer than 4 years running so I can't imagine.   So I was there to give a speech and help with all the proceedings.  It was entertaining.

The weather was a chilly -9 (around 18F?).  BURRRRR!!!  I'm just not prepared for that kind of cold anymore.  It keep us inside and we didn't do any hiking like we usually do. 

I mostly eat and drank all my favorite things that I can't get down here (Tim Hortons, perogies). Visited with family and friends (lots of meals) and slept very little and fitfully at best.  Water was HORRIBLE.  Flying is so dehydrating as well.  I pretty much just grazed and grazed - 80% of it on garbage.  Blah. 

Frankly I'm surprised that I am in the low 240's.  Thank you SLEEVE!!!

My family is extremely disfunctional, and sadly I'm always left thinking.... why do I bother to come and visit them?  Sad, but true.

Anyway - back to work today and thankfully both the men I work for are away all week, which means that I can catch up on the 300+ emails and all the work that has been deferred.

Also, time to get on the water, and re-new my efforts to try and start working out again.  Plans must be made.

NSV x4

Catching up today.  Its a quiet morning at the office (finally!).

Its been a roller coster of life for the last month.  I finished up a huge event at work on tuesday and recovered from the fallout of work undone on Wednesday. Slowly catching up to go on vacation next week.  The never-ending cycle of catching up will start over after that.  HA!

My weight has been on the up down again this month, but I'm not unhappy.  Its been hitting lower lows and lower highs, so I'm still trending downwards.  That is progress. Its not fast, but its still progress.

My water intake has been diabolical.  Which is a big hindrance to weight loss.  So once again, I need to take steps to make water drinking a more important part of my life.  In the past (pre-sleeve), I would simply down a liter of water in one go and feel better. Of course, that is impossible now.  Sip Sip Sip Sip.  Need to get on track with that.

Onto the NSV.  Winter is creeping into Texas, and we are finally getting temps into the 40's and high 30's (I know...thats not cold compairatively!).  So this weekend past I did some shopping.

1. Knee High Boots
I bought 2 pair... one black, one brown. I don't know why, but I love to wear dresses to the office, especially in the winter, dress, tights, boots.  Best!!   My Feet have shrunk with my WL and I'm back down to a size 10 (from an 11).  AND... the NSV part... the regular width boots FIT OVER MY CALVES!!!!!!!!   I am so excited!

2. Sweater Dresses
1 bought 2 sweater dresses.  A sweater dress is not something that I EVER thought that I would be able to wear... granted, I look a little lumpy, but I got a long tight cami to try and smooth some of that out. Wore one yesterday and felt pretty darn great.

3. Size L
One of the sweater dresses is a Large. It was so crazy to put it on and see that it fit! I also got a blouse that was a Large as well. I had picked up an XL and realized that it didn't look good...because it was TOO BIG! Mind Blown

4. Tucked in
final NSV today ... I am wearing said size L blouse and it is tucked into my skirt. That is something that I would NEVER have done before. Feels good. 

Here is a pic today.
Blouse - L
Skirt - 2X (but its a small 2x and I can slip it off over my hips without undoing the button... I think aother 5lbs down and I won't be able to wear it anymore - and I love it, so I'm going to wear it as much as possible for now)
Boots - 10 regular (LOVE!!)

a little compairison. 

Dec 2012 (264lbs) v. Nov 2013 (237.2lbs)

 

Oops! Mini-"vacation"

So..... I ended up in hospital with a possible infected ankle joint this whole last weekend. 

Not good. 

It all started with some poison ivy on my leg, that I left too long to get steroids for.... once I was done my 6 day pack of those, my ankle swole up and turned red.

Sat morning at 3am I woke up to it throbbing and headed into the clinic...who promptly sent me to the hospital!

X-rays
MRI
IV Antibiotics
2 days in hospital

I was released on Sunday late afternoon with a month long prescription of antibiotics, orders to stay low on Monday and keep my ankle up.  I'm working today, but headed home at noon.

Thankfully, the infection is external to the joint, but still very painful and sore and serious.

Needless to say... I'm taking it easy.  This afternoon will be couch time and ankle up.

October 2013 Recap

The numbers for October:

Sept 30 - 238.6
Oct 1 – 239

Oct 2 – 239.6
Oct 3 – 239.8
Oct 4 - 238.4
Oct 5 - 240.2
Oct 6 - 238.2
Oct 7 - 238
Oct 8 - 238.2
Oct 9 - 239
Oct 10 - 237.6
Oct 11 - 238.8
Oct 12 - 238.6
Oct 13 - 236.4 **new low
Oct 14 - 237.6
Oct 15 - 237.2
Oct 16 - 238.4
Oct 17 - 238.2
Oct 18 - 237
Oct 19 - 236.4
Oct 20 - 236.6
Oct 21 - 236.8
Oct 22 - 238
Oct 23 - 238.8
Oct 28 - 239.6
Oct 29 - 239.0
Oct 30 - 239.0
Oct 31 - 239.0

Total gained in September: +0.04lbs

Total Lost: 62

 

Despite the “poor” finish, I am really pleased with the kind of progress that I had over the month. 

 

I’ve touched down at an all new low, and in general feel that I’m working on a trend that is getting me lower.  It’s not fast, but it’s there.   I need to get some new winter pants – all my summer pants are getting droopy.  I don’t think that I’m down a full size yet from my 18’s to 16’s, but I’m close!  The jeans I’m wearing today… are loose in the waist straight out of the drier - that’s a clear sign I’m altering my size.

I got my new driver’s license yesterday in the mail – new address and since I’m not a US citizen, I have to go in and renew everything in person. The only bonus was that I got a new picture.  I don’t post pictures of my face… for reasons…(I don’t want to be identified, I hate my nose (it’s been broken five times and is quite crooked) and it’s not my best feature for sure and frankly, there are probably more fat-creepers looking at the pictures on my blog than people who are interested in weight loss, WLS etc. So if you really want to see it – send me an email!)

ANYWAY!   The difference was shocking.  SHOCKING.  I look distorted - misshapen.   I think that the biggest difference that I’ve noticed in my life since WLS is that I finally feel like a human again. 

 

When I was at my heaviest (for the last year before surgery, I honestly felt like a monster, I didn’t fit into the world, I felt horrible, I looked like a walking dumpling.  There was nothing feminine left about me. I struggled to do everything – was concerned about where I sat, would I fit, would my belly hang out and touch people, could I get into this booth and still breath and eat?  Really important that I eat.

I spent last weekend with some people at a festival. Most of them had not seen me in a year or more.  I was sad to see that a few of my friends from this had gained all the weight that I’ve lost (and some).  They were, of course, very keen to hear about what I was doing and how I had lost the weight.  For every suggestion: more protein, smaller portion, smaller plates to eat off of, no drinking while eating, ditch the soda: I was met with a barrage of excuses. 

One of the ladies - while I was telling her the basics - finished an entire bag of caramel-bacon popcorn (yes, you read that right), including creating the perfect funnel from the mouth of the bag so that she could tip all the crumbs out of the bag into her mouth.  A technique I am quite familiar with.  

 

It was an  extreme mirror moment.  I lived like that for so MANY years – losing weight is too hard, too this, too that - I like soda, I could never give up X or Y.  They said all the things that I have argued myself. 

Surgery was the jumping off point - I knew that I couldn't do it myself.  Surgery was like getting shoved out of an airplane at 30,000 feet.  My job is to pull the cord.  I might be falling, but I still some control over the choices to make.  I can pull the cord and learn to glide, or I can free-fall back into the life I had before and blame it on the people that pushed me out the door.

Its been a full year and I can honestly say that I'm still learning. I've changed, I've grown (mentally) and shrunk physically.  Its been hard, I've cried, I've loved it, I've hated it.  But I have changed in many substantical ways and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Halloween:  I bought candy that I hate.  I threw away the last 10 pieces when we finally closed up last night.  Things that would NEVER have happened before.  I would have bought 2x more of mini chocolates, eaten them all, and gone back for more “for the kids”.  Throwing candy in the garbage last night was one of the most incredible feelings.  I stood over the can and thought, “This is something that I wouldn’t never have believed I would have done”.

Feels Great!  I'm excited about life again.