New Low!

As I said to a friend yesterday, I've been spending more time under 240 then at it, and that is success for me.  The little ups and down are SO much easier to manage mentally when I track them and look at them everyday.

Otherwise, I would count these down days at flukes and the ups as permanent... you know.  Brain issues.

Anyway, today is another new milestone - which I wouldn't know about if I didn't keep such detailed notes!  :) go me!

236.2lbs.

Last night as I was getting undressed the husband said - you are getting so small.  funny that.  I didn't believe him. 

small things

updated my ticker.  Thats all I got for today.

February 2013 Monthly Recap

A solid month, feb is always an extra short one, but it always seems to go by slowly.

Numbers: 

Jan 31 - 240.8
Feb 2 - 241.8
Feb 3 - 242.0
Feb 4 - 241.0
Feb 5 - 241.0
Feb 6 - 240.8
Feb 7 - 240.8
Feb 8 - 240.8
Feb 9 - 239.8
Feb 10  - 241
Feb 11 - 240.6
Feb 12 - 240.8
Feb 13 - 240.4
Feb 14 - 241.2
Feb 17 - 241.0
Feb 18 - 240.4
Feb 19 - 240.8
Feb 20 - 240.2
Feb 21 - 239.6
Feb 22 - 239.4
Feb 23 - 240.6
Feb 24 - 239.8
Feb 25 - 238.6
Feb 26 - 238.6
Feb 27 - 236.8
Feb 28 - 236.8

Total weight loss in feb: 4lbs

Total overall: 64.2

This is my lowest end of month weigh in ever! Win!! Pretty close to my lowest weight, so I'm really happy to be in this zone again. 

Feb 2014 Graph

 

Gallbladder Surgery on the 25th has given me a big downswing for the end of the month, but I'm hoping to keep it (or at least half of it) and continue to chip away at the fat. I'm excited to be able the eat more normally as well. 

Sadly I can't workout with weights for the next four weeks, but I'm going to focus on walking, biking and clean eating. Lots of water and the good stuff. 

I've been scarfing sugar and junk too much, so for march I want to focus on that and make sure I'm staying aware of what is going in. 

That's all for this months recap. Not a lot of details, but it is what it is. 

Recovery

Gallbladder removal went as well as possible. 

No complications and I'm home resting. Off the pain meds today - they make me feel worse - nausea and dizzy, but good for sleeping almost all day on Wednesday. 

I'm feeling a lot better today, able to keep some food down, easy foods - broth soups and crackers. Almost feels like my VSG all over again, but way less painful! 

I'm very pleased to have the offending organ out. And this is one of the nicest "vacations" I've had in a while. I feel no obligation to get up and do any cleaning, laundry, or anything. Rest, nap, HBO and recover. 

:)

Power Lifting

I was going to call this "Public Adventures", but then I thought that it might give the wrong impression.   LOL

So this weekend past I attended and participated in a Power Lifting event.  I've been working out with a friend and he convinced me to compete.  Squats, bench press and Dead lifts.  You get three chances at each event, you have to follow the (I won't get into all the minutia) form and specifications for each move. But most importantly... you are REQUIRED to wear a form fitting singlet.

Like a wresting singlet.  Ladies can wear a t-shirt under. 

So... as a large, still have wight to lose woman - this was a very very difficult thing to mentally process.  I would be on display in front of MANY people showing my lumps.  But, I decided that I would do it  - paid the fees and committed myself.

I have to say, that I was probably the most judgey person there. No one else gave a sh*t...  was all "LOOKING" at people and comparing and thinking about what I look like compared to them.  OMG I'm dysfunctional.  People at these events only care about one thing... that you are there.  They admire STRONG, they don't see fat.  They see body mechanics. 

Despite the fear and stress about it... I think that power lifting is going to be great for me mentally.  Fat people there are worthy and strong. 

Anyway, I was the only woman in my category - open women unequipped. So I won my class (of 1). teehee!  but I'm hooked.

My hubby videoed my lifts an I have to say - that I didn't recognize myself. In fact he told me that a couple of times he was scanning the crowd and din't recognize me.  LOL!  Success!!



Tomorrow is my gallbladder surgery, so I'll be off all week suffering.   Weee.   1 month until I can work out again.  :)

Pre-Op appointmnt

I've been working like crazy to pre for my week off next week.  I have an event that I have been planning for work, and I won't be there to run it - so its twice as uch organization!

I have to jet out for my pre op today at 9:30, and last night... part of a filing came out.

*SIGH*

I turn 40 this year...feels like I'm falling apart.

Such is life.  I've DVR'ed a bunch of programs, and I'll have my laptop at home - so I'll likely check in a couple of times to make sure everything is going as planned.

Perspective

Perspective is one of those things that I find hard to have. Objective perspective, that is. I've spent a lifetime being really hard on myself, and I think that its nature to find faults and obsess over them.  The "grass is always greener" mentality, which can make us strive, but also does impair my vision of myself. 

So, I know when I have the moments that are the sun peeking through the clouds, that I have to mark them down.

I've been lifting weights now for just over 2 months 3x a week. I've been warming up on the bike and doing lots of god stretching. I've seen my weights number go up, the workouts are easier, I am certainly stronger. (YAY!), and lifting and my mobility is better.

Of course, in my "mind" - WEIGHT!!! is the thing that I track and WEIGHT is the be-all-end-all.  So its been hard to see the zero-sum game of the old up-down on the scale. 242 - 240lbs.

I still see FAT when I look in the mirror, so I just have to keep mentally working on it. However, I had a great NSV yesterday.   Which must be logged.

My Chiropractor said - Oh, I can see that you have lost weight again. Your legs have a noticeable change!  Which is always great, since she sees me in a different way, without judgement. 

I mentioned it last night to my weight lifting coach/buddy and he said - oh yeah - I can totally see a difference.  :)  

So last evening, while ruminating over this, and looking at my legs folded up on the couch, I started to notice it.  My "tight" pants were baggy, where I never noticed that before. The waistband actually gaped, instead of being taunt.

Today, I'm wearing my skinny pants (coldwater creek 16's) and they are not as tight as they were the last time I wore them.

Chalking this up to VICTORY!  I'm going to enjoy it too!