I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs,
the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.


MEASURE TWICE - EAT ONCE!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Water, Workout, Weigh In

Getting more water in me this month is the name of the game.

Slightly more successful yesterday.

Weights last night, benchpress volume night, hanging knee raises, and then hanging ring rows.

Weigh in ths morning, 235.8.

Getting there.

Monday, September 15, 2014

August 2014 Monthly Recap

August Monthly Recap.

Weight gain: +1.2lbs
Total Loss: 62.8lbs

 

 
 
31-Jul    237
1-Aug    238.8
2-Aug    238.2
3-Aug    237.6
4-Aug    236.8
11-Aug  236.2
12-Aug  237
13-Aug  237.6
14-Aug  237.4
15-Aug  237.6
16-Aug  238.2
17-Aug  237.2
18-Aug  237.4
19-Aug  237.2
20-Aug  238.6
21-Aug  238
22-Aug  239
23-Aug  238
24-Aug  237.6
25-Aug  238.2
26-Aug  237.6
27-Aug  238.2
28-Aug  237.6
29-Aug  239.2
30-Aug  238.6
31-Aug  238.2

August has been a month of wallowing. More woes about work, more crap where I don’t eat right and don’t drink enough water.  I did stick to my weight lifting, however, I had a week gap in early August for a work event and I had to be out of town running that for 5 days. 

However, this month is done, and I’ve been trying to learn lessons.  Trying to get back on track, but I know that this is not a simple switch for me. 

The base issue is that I’m unhappy, and 39 years of life experience with unhappiness was food.  So, I’m trying, but I’m failing more than succeeding in dealing with the sads with something other than food.

The positive:
Started lunch packing again
Sunday cooking
Less junk in the house
Tracking on MFP my food a couple times a week
Still weighing in daily
4x a week at the gym
 
Negatives:
Still turning to food
Still snacking too much
Not enough water

July 2014 Monthly Recap

July Monthly Recap:

Weight loss: 1.6lbs
Total Loss: 64lbs


28-Jun   238.6
9-Jul       237.6
10-Jul    237.2
11-Jul    235
12-Jul    234
13-Jul    235.4
14-Jul    234.4
15-Jul    234.8
16-Jul    235.8
17-Jul    235.8
18-Jul    238.2
19-Jul    238.2
20-Jul    238.2
21-Jul    236.4
22-Jul    235.8
23-Jul    235.8
24-Jul    235.4
25-Jul    236.4
26-Jul    236.6
27-Jul    236.6
28-Jul    234.8
29-Jul    235.8
30-Jul    236.6
31-Jul    237
 
July was an interesting month:  I turned 40 in July.  I was hoping that it wasn’t going to affect me, and that I was mature enough to handle it, but I didn’t like it at all.

We also had a lot of changes at work, 10% layoffs, the main VP I worked for was transferred back to Canada, and the new VP is a dickbag. Of course, I have HR functions so was on the inside of knowing about said layoffs and who it was going to happen to, and that is just not a nice feeling. 

I’m unhappy with work, with being 40, with my efforts at my weight management, with a lot of things.  The vacation was great, but I came back to a sh*tstorm and to be honest… this is all affecting me a lot more personally than I ever expected.  I ended up working weekends and really not enjoying my life at all.  Pretty much eradicated the joy of having been on vacation.  Which has left me a little resentful. 

The positive:
I started back lifting weights and I’ve stuck with it.  4 days a week for all of July, through now (middle of Sept).  So that is the one positive light.   
 
The negative:
I am eating too much
I am not drinking enough water
I am wallowing in problems instead of looking for solutions. 
 
Times much change… however that didn’t happen in August. Things got worse-ish… but we are getting there. 

June 2014 Monthly Recap

June Monthly Recap.

Weight Gain: +2.2lbs
Total Loss: 62.4lbs


 
31-May 236.4
1-Jun     234.6
2-Jun     235.2
3-Jun     234.6
4-Jun     234.2
5-Jun     234.2
6-Jun     235.4
7-Jun     235.4
8-Jun     235
9-Jun     236.8
10-Jun   238.2
11-Jun   237.6
12-Jun   237.6
13-Jun   236.8
16-Jun   236.8
17-Jun   235.2
18-Jun   234.4
19-Jun   234.2
20-Jun   234.6
21-Jun   235.4
22-Jun   234.8
23-Jun   234.4
24-Jun   236.6
25-Jun   236.6
26-Jun   237
27-Jun   238.6
28-Jun   238.6
 
Lessons:
I’m still learning, it’s been 1 year and 8 months since surgery (in june), and I have had what I would consider really good success, BUT... yes there is that giant but in here... 
  • Have I plateaued… yes.
  • Am I working hard at this… not in the slightest. 
  • Should I be?? 
  • Damn it, yes I should… but I don’t know how to do more at the moment.
I had started back at weight lifting post-surgery for my gall bladder removal, and then promptly hurt myself quite badly by Deadlifting too much weight too soon... bad bad lower back strain that kept me off my feet for 3 days and limping around for 3 weeks. 

I actually thought that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy my vacation planned at the end of the month.  I ended up managing okay, but certainly didn’t get to do all the hiking and moving around that I wanted, and had to be quite careful about my back.

However, I’m here still, and I'm about to catch up on the last three months of blogging, and the theme is Struggle. 

I’ve been struggling with work, with turning 40, with being happy, with not using food for comfort, with not knowing how to manage my emotions and how not to hate myself so much, with trying to stay hydrated. 

It’s been tough.  I should have blogged more.  I should have written my feelings down.  “Shoulds” aren’t going to help me though. However, the one thing I did… was I DID NOT STOP WEIGHING IN.  

Thankfully for the MFP app, I still jumped on the scale almost every day and weighed in. It was not fun, it was not nice, it was however, totally necessary and I’m still here trying to take care of business.