I had Vertical Sleeve Gastric Surgery in October 2012, and this is my journey to push the fat girl aside and start living life without fear of lawn chairs,
the middle seat, clothing shops and high heels. Among other things.


MEASURE TWICE - EAT ONCE!

Friday, November 30, 2012

November Recap

November has been a fantastic month for many things!

Firstly, I hit 2 goal weights. -10% body weight and -35lbs. 

Secondly, it was an exceptional month of learning:

The begining of the month was painfully slow and up/down with my weight.   I had a couple of crisis moments thinking that I had already stopped losing and this was it.   But I kept my focus, didn't get out of control (i.e.: ice cream eating and crying about being fat), and then mid way through the month, I started seeing the numbers heading down.  This can be attributed mostly to the magic elixir water.

Its a process, I have to keep on it.  Which can be hard for someone who was a yo-yo dieter and a habitual start-quit-restart'er.

Here are the November numbers:

Oct 31 - 271.8
Nov 1 - 271.6
Nov 2 - 272
Nov 3 - 271 (down 10% body weight -30lbs!!)
Nov 4 - 270.8
Nov 5 - 270
Nov 6 - 270.6
Nov 7 - 270.8
Nov 8 - 271.4
Nov 9 - 270.8
Nov 10 - 271
Nov 11 - 271
Nov 12 - 271
Nov 13 - 270
Nov 14 - 270.6
Nov 15 - 269.4 (1 month)
Nov 16 - 270.8
Nov 17 - 270.6
Nov 18 - 269.6
Nov 19 - 269.4
Nov 20 - 268.4
Nov 21 - 268.6
Nov 22 - 267.8
Nov 25 - 266.8
Nov 26 - 267.6
Nov 27 - 266.8
Nov 28 - 265.2
Nov 29 - 264.8 (-35lb goal!!)
Nov 30 - 265.2

Total lost in November: 6.6lbs
Total lost: 35.8lbs

Which leads me to my next discovery... I can't do math.   -35lb goal was at 266lbs, not 265lbs.  Okay - its a single pound, so not that big a deal, but... way to go mathlete!  :)

All in all a great month. I'm looking forward to some similar progress in the months to come.

Weight loss Graph for November:

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Goal: lost 35lbs

I made my second weight goal today!!!!

Weigh in this morning: 264.8

I'm officially down 35lbs.   I'll have to try and take some pictures (you know, the ones I'm not sharing yet!), so that I can look and see how far I've come.

Today at work I'm wearing a sweater that I've owned for 4 years and never worn... and tomorrow night is our office Christmas party and I have a blouse that is the same (well I wore it once, but I really shouldn't have).

Happy day!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

So Close.....

I'm so close to my next weight goal!!!

-35lbs... will be at 265.  This morning I weighted in at 265.2!  

More water has really been helping out.   I was thinking back to my early November weight struggles, and now, I'm glad that I just keep on going and didn't focus too much on the up and down and just kept on track.

More of the same for December.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Lemon

One of the great advantages of living down here is freshly grown citrus!  My co-worker brought me in two really lovely, super juicy lemons from her little patio tree.

There is a park near here that has a wild Grapefruit tree as well.  It isn't doing great this year, because of the drought that we've had, but a couple of years ago I was eating free grapefruit like a king!!!

This little dude has made my water drinking so much tastier today!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Food Tracking

So I've been a bad food tracker since last week when my back went sour and I'd been living in pain since then.

I've just been letting it slide, which is never good. I think I kept my weight down because the foods that I wanted and tried to eat would not stay down (hotdog, taco to name two of them), and that put me off my eating for a bit.

Today was a freakn' free for all and I was about to go to bed without writing it all down and calculating it all out.  "Oh... about 1,100 for sure", I've been telling myself all night, even though I overate snacks after work instead of just having dinner.

So I forced myself down and put it on the spreadsheet, and lo and behold, what do I remember.....

Right... cherry kolache at that meeting....oh... and some smarties in the afternoon.... and the cereal after work.....there is an extra 445 calories that I didn't need today.  Also, I didn't need that last cheese, that was silly and I ate it even though I didn't want to.  Yummy, yes.  Needed, no.

Also... Water.  Drink some silly woman.

Getting shit together in 3....2....1...

Here is todays totals.

Monday
           
food
Amount
Calories
Fat
Carbs
Protein
Noosa Raspberry yogurt 4oz 130 6 14 9
Coffee & creamers (2) 1  40 3 3.5 0.5
cherry kolache 1 210 5 37 3
           
           
Noosa Raspberry yogurt 4oz 130 6 14 9
           
Turkey muffintin meatloaf (aka: Pucks) 2 280 14 9 28
mustard 1T 3 0.2 0.3 0.2
           
smarties 1 25 0 6.2 0
Laughing Cow - swiss 1 35 1.5 1 2
Laughing Cow - chipotle 1 35 2 2 2
           
Quaker oat squares 1c 210 2.5 44 6
           
Acorn Squash 1/2c 57 0 15 1
Turkey puck 1 140 7 4.5 14
laughing cow - cinnimon 1 45 4 2 2
           
Totals   1340 51.2 152.5 76.7

Mondays

are the best!  

*insert sarcasm*

Today I've been bogged down in meeting after meeting, afer surprise meeting.   I had a chiro appointment at lunch, and go back just in time to look at all the work I hadn't done all morning and get hauled into another meeting.

My hip and groin are feeling better. I only got to ice once today, so that is on the list of things to get done tonight. Another appointment on Wednesday to make sure that I get right.  I want to get back on my bike and soon.

I'm going to have to come in early tomorrow to get some of this cleared off.  Such is the life of an office drone.  Weeee!

The good news today is that my Husbeast can finally drive (long story - he had a double quad tendon tear this summer and has been recovering ever since).   So he can finally drive himself to physio tonight, which means that I will not have to sit int eh car for an extra hour of driving and an hour of sitting in the physio office.  I can get dishes, laundry and lounging done.  YES!!!!

Weigh in was up today: 267.6

Nothing too scary, you know, it so much different when you get to luxuriate in bed and weigh in when you’ve done all your morning duties…. Today was not that day!

We have our company Christmas party this Friday. My goal is 265. I have a top that I bought 5 years ago that I’m going to wear for the second time ever, which should also be noted that this will be the first time it has ever fit!  I’m super excited.

Back to work!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Getting Better

Last night I managed to get up the stairs to my bed for sleeping last night.  Gawds that was a nice change. 

My groin is feeling better today, not 100% of course, but enough to give me hope that I'll be able to work on Monday.   However, I'm not going to push it too hard today. More rest, ice, ibuprofen and reading/netflix.  The Husbeast bought me the Brave dvd yesterday. So that and all the extras are on the list of things to watch!  I'm excited!!

Weighed in this morning: 266.8lbs

I'm very pleased!

The sun is out, I'm going to make a coffee and open the patio doors and enjoy the cool morning air and sun.  While sitting on a could icebags!  Wee!!   :)

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Welp....

It's been an interesting couple of days. My back problem morphed into a groin strain, and of you've ever had the pleasure of one of those, you will know how "great" it feels.

I've been trapped on the 2nd floor since Thursday evening post turkey day. Ice, rest, ibuprofen, sleep. Repeat.

I'm feeling more close to human now, apart from not showering and sleeping on the couch in my cloths. But I'm walking and feeling better, so it was worth it to not push myself.

Turkey day was great. My sleeve did its job, since my eyes are still not trained yet. I did notice that I ate like the thin ppl at the table, I picked at what I really likes, left what I didn't love and only had a single plate that I didn't finish. It feels good to be in control.

Since I've not been upstairs, I've not weighted in, so tomorrow I'll have a surprise!

Today is more rest, more ice and Netflix.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thankful

Today is a trigger day for me, and so, the day before thanksgiving I'm going to give you my "thankful" post.

Today I'm suffering through some of my binge eating triggers. Pain, frustration, stress, tired, grocery shopping and the worst part...time in my car. AKA: the food chariot. The ugly scene of many a food crime that I have committed against myself for years.

I "WANT" candy, chocolate, ice cream, crackers, sweets, pie, whipped cream..... You name it. I want it in my mouth.

But today, I have been saved from myself. The sleeve will not allow me to get out of control. It was both exhilarating and irritating.

The old ugly binge beast has reared it's head and it demands to be fed. I was going to give in, i was going to sit in my car and eat cookies and chocolate. but my surgery is helping me. Today my sleeve is Gandolf, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Picture is my binge: cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, roasted chicken, red & green peppers. (unpictured: handful of nuts). Ate half. :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Short Weeks!

We are off from work this week on Thursday and Friday! HURRAY!

My only real disappointment is that I'm on rest for my back. No Pushing, pulling or lifting. Which means I won't get in my biking or weights this week.  Damn. 

We are having an orphans, widows and outcasts Thanksgiving with friends on Thursday. It should be super fun.   I'm excited, it will be my first big food outing with people that don't know I've had surgery, so eating slowly and talking lots (shouldn't be a problem), will get me through.

Friday the Husbeast has to work, so I'm going to have a crafty day with a friend. Get some xmas decorating done, and some little sewing projects.

I'm heading up to the Great White North in early December to see a girlfriend that I've not visited in almost 2 years. Her kids are getting to big, I have to go and see them all before they are magically teens!  This also means that I have to get my sh!t together so that once I'm up there I can send the rest of the family their Christmas gifts. WAY better then paying to mail them across the border.

I'm going to put on my thinking cap for this one.

Weigh in this morning was excellent: 268.4

Its been a LONG time since I've seen that number. LONG TIME.  Like, I can't remember time. 

I'm heading downwards, and making good choices.  I had a little trouble with dinner last night. Brown rice spicy salmon sushi.   I think it was the rice.  So next time I'll take it slower, and do a couple of checks on if I should eat more or not.

Also.... WATER WATER WATER

Tonights indulgence.... The Walking Dead. Missed it Sunday, tonight I get to see what is going on!!! 

Monday, November 19, 2012

Graph!

Yep, feeling good!  Its not fast, but its heading down!

catch up

No Internet makes life hard!!   I didn't get to update my weigh ins this weekend!  How did I ever survive without the web??  :)  

This weekend was a tough one. 

Lots and lots and lots of chores, which means lots and lots and lots of stairs.  My back and shoulder have not been doing well for the last week - and this weekend they really fell apart.

I have substantial old injuries from sports (14yrs of rugby) and they occasionally creep up on me. Which did happen this week.   I have a call into my chiro and if I don't feel significantly better after that, I might just go home for the rest of the day.

Ug, getting older sucks, however, losing this weight has made me feel much better on a daily basis. So, got to keep on keeping on. 

Okay - the great news; weigh in this morning: 269.4 

back down again and I'm feeling good.  Getting my food in, and moving lots this weekend helped. I have to focus on my water!  That is my goal this week. Water Water Water!

Great news - chiro appointment procured. 10am.  Time to get cracking!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Internet blues

No Internet in the house today, thank the gawds for my phone and wi-fi.

Just a quick post.

Weigh-in: 270.6

Down a little today. :)

It's a light eating day for me, i'm just not in the mood for food. Got some grits and chick-chick baby food for my late lunch. Likely won't finish this. That is an 7oz ramikin, 4oz grits, 3oz baby food.

Lots of house chores have been done today. Laundry laundry laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dished washed by hand and in the dishwasher, dog washed and garbage taken out. A long hot bath is on the agenda for tonight. I can't wait!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Downward trend

Last night we went out with some friends for a fancy dinner to celebrate my Husbeasts new job. The friends we took with us had a hand in him getting new said job. We wanted to treat them as this has really changed our lives, almost doubled his income, halved his on call duties, and is in general BETTER!  YAY!

We also hit the gym with the husband of this couple, so they know about my surgery, which makes it WAY easier to eat out with them -- no pressure to eat more.

We went to a great seafood restaurant, shared some tasty appies.  I had a cauliflower & shrimp soup for entree and then a demitasse cup of sweet leaf ice cream for dessert.  Plus we all shared bites of the great food they had.

Overindulged, yes. And this morning I could feel the puff in my hands from all the salt that chefs use. This is life and I'm not eating out every night, so I'm not feeling guilty.

Weigh in this morning was up - 270.8.   Understandably, given last nights late meal (8pm).

So to make myself feel better I did my November weight chart.  The trend is downwards. That is all that matters. Its not fasts this month, but its heading in the right direction. 

Happy Friday All!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

1 month sleeversary

1 Month

Starting weight – 301
1 Month weight – 269.4

Pounds lost – 31.6

Pant sizes down – 2
Shirt size down – 1

One month in.  Wow, feels like so much longer (in a good way). I have been reading lots of blogs about people that are 8, 9, 15 months, plus into their surgeries and I want to be there already. However, I also wanted to wake up from the surgery skinny too, so you don’t always get what you want! Ha!

I really couldn’t be more happy with the surgery and what its done for me, even in this little beginner stage – One Month. Not for just the weight and the dress sizes. There have been a lot of other amazing changes. 

Here are my amazing improvements:

  1. I have gone from a 4-6 ibuprofen a day habit down to ZERO.  You’re welcome liver and kidneys!!
  2. Sleep – SO.MUCH.BETTER.
  3. Moving, biking, walking, stairs…. All seriously easier!
  4. My shoes all fit again and, lo and behold, they don’t leave giant red lines in my feet anymore!
  5. No more binging. Not even close to physically possible anymore.
  6. Hey! Wow! Ankles!
  7. Getting in and out of the car in a tight parking space - No problem!
The surgery was the best adult decision I’ve ever made for myself.  It was a selfish one (since I didn’t have insurance that covered it, that was $$ straight from our bank account - I'm really very forturnate that we were in a possition to do that), and I struggled with this decision before I did it. It felt like cheating, it felt like I was just too damn lazy to do it the “right way”, I felt like I was a failure and pathetic that I couldn’t just lose weight.

I had a long talk with some friends. I also spent the last 2 years struggling to lose 10lbs, while another friend of mine who got a lap-band lost 150lbs.  Was she a failure? Was she too lazy? Was she cheating?  No.

I didn’t think of her that way. I was jealous of her success, yes, but I was also a good deal more proud and happy for her.  Why wasn’t surgery an answer for me too?  As another good friend of mine sad to me, “You are not taking the easy way out, surgery and changing your life is going to be difficult.  Would you not take help if you had a medical condition that required surgery or medication?”

I finally gave myself permission to be unsuccessful at weight loss. I finally gave myself permission to seek help.  I wish that I had this done years ago.  Hindsight is 20/20, perhaps years of struggling and the up/down has given me an appreciation for what I have now.

One of the biggest differences post surgery is this has helped me stop using my body like a trash can. I can’t eat to solve my problems anymore; I can't fill myself up when I’m bored, tired or cranky.

I’m still a work in progress and I’m looking forward to what I have learned in the next month, and where I’ll be.  Exciting stuff!!

For fun, here is a picture of our dog enjoying life to the fullest. Kind of how I feel today.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Hump Day

Wednesday - Hump day.   I really feel like I need to get over this hump of the 271's.   Blarg.

Weigh In this morning: 270.6.   up again a little.   I'm trying to focus on the overall trend, but its hard. 

Squats and benchpress last night. I could feel my abs were weak and sore still from surgery. I have a couple of light exercises to try out and get them firing again.  The rest of the workout was good - my back is a little sore today.  Thankfully I have a chiro appointment at lunch today, so that should work out all the kinks.

I just finished my bike this morning. 5.26miles, 175calories burned, 25min done.  I pushed a little harder today, and started at level 5 for 5min, then 6 for 5min, then 7 until the last min... back down to 5.

Time for a shower and to head to the office, but before that. Here is today's meal plan:

Wednesday
           
food amount Calories Fat Carbs Protein
EAS lite vanilla protein shake 1 110 3 4 17
Coffee & creams (2) 1 cup 40 3 3.5 0.5
           
           
Noosa Raspberry yogurt 4oz 130 6 14 9
           
           
deviled egg (halves) 2 86 9.25 1.3 6.3
Turkey mini meatloaf 1 140 7 4.5 14
Laughing Cow - swiss 1 35 1.5 1 2
           
           
Cottage Cheese 1/2c 90 2.5 0 12
           
           
Salmon 4oz 240 12 0 30
Plain grits 1 100 0 21 2
skim milk 1/2c 45 0.3 6 4.5
           
           
Totals   1016 44.55 55.3 97.3

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

YES!

Well , I must have had more water yesterday then I thought.  Had a good morning movement, and my weight is down! FINALLY!

Weight in - 270lbs

YAY!

I finally picked up the extra pants that my friend has shrunk out of.  All of them are size 18 and 20 (She is now down to a 14).

They looked... IMPOSSIBLY small.  The mind plays such tricks.  All the 20's fit well, apart from one pair of jeans.  The dress pants are 18's and all have some spandex in them, so they do up, and look good in the leg, but are a little tight in the middle.

By a little tight in the middle, I mean - how all my pants use to fit on me when they were stretchy and size 24. 

Unbelievable. It was hard to imagine pants that look like that going around me. But they did. 

Today was a non-bike day.  I have a weight session tonight, squats and I think that I'm going to give some bench press a shot as well.   See how the abs are healing up and flexing.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Meat! Its on the menu

I'm officially into Phase 3 - soft foods - as of this past weekend. Which isn't too much different from the pureed foods, other than I get to add in some cooked ground meat (YES!) and I'm still not on raw veggies yet. Chewing went well today, and I ate at a good pace.

My protein intake has shot up a good 10 - 15g a day with that! Enjoying it for what its worth!

Water today started good and dropped way the hell off. I'm sitting here thinking... yeah, that didn't go well. I think maybe 12oz in the workday. Frak. Tomorrow on the scale is going to suck, but that's my fault. I can't just look at the water sitting there, I have to drink it!

Today was a little light on food, I forgot to add protein powder into my pumpkin shake, so thats 9g of protein I'm missing today.  However, I think I'm doing pretty good!  And for a visual change of pace, here is a little clip of my food spreadsheet and what I ate today:

  Nov-12        
food amount Calories Fat Carbs Protein
Noosa Raspberry yogurt 4oz 130 6 14 9
Coffee & creams (2) 1 cup 40 3 3.5 0.5
           
Cream o Wheat - Maple 1 pack 130 0 28 2
skim milk 1/2c 45 0.3 6 4.5
           
deviled egg (halves) 2 86 9.25 1.3 6.3
           
Turkey mini meatloaf 1 (4oz) 140 7 4.5 14
Cottage Cheese 1/2c 90 2.5 0 12
           
           
           
Pumpkin shake (milk only) 1 147 0.8 25.5 9.7
           
Acorn Squash 1/2c 57 0 15 1
Turkey mini meatloaf 1 (4oz) 140 7 4.5 14
Yellow Mustard 2T 2 0 0 0
           
           
Totals   1007 35.85 102.3 73